bryony  

@CaptainGrammar

31. She/her. Amateur knitter and professional third wheel.

Somerset, England
instagram.com/lady.bea
Joined March 2009
2,379 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. Retweeted
    13 hours ago

    See you all at the next climate strike:)

    Human penises are shrinking because of pollution, warns scientist
    1,554 replies 37,836 retweets 241,509 likes
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  2. Retweeted
    19 hours ago

    If I may take a moment to indulge in a purely self-serving Twitter poll; if you're over the age of 30 and single, retweet this. I'm feeling kind of useless and it might be nice to know I'm not alone.

    2 replies 6 retweets 2 likes
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  3. 17 hours ago

    You mean, school-aged children? Children who are attending schools again? Transmission is high with those in an environment *everyone* agreed was a factor in the spread of the virus in the first place? Am I screaming into a void here or...?

    A Public Health England report shows COVID-19 case rates are now highest in those aged 10-19 years old and are lowest in those aged 70-79 For more on this and other news visit
    1 reply 2 likes
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  4. 19 hours ago

    I feel like society always tells us if we're not settled down and married with kids before we're 27, we've somehow failed.

    2 replies
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  5. 19 hours ago

    If I may take a moment to indulge in a purely self-serving Twitter poll; if you're over the age of 30 and single, retweet this. I'm feeling kind of useless and it might be nice to know I'm not alone.

    2 replies 6 retweets 2 likes
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  6. 20 hours ago

    Hands up if you're going to be single forever because you're absolutely impossible to love 🙌

    1 reply 2 likes
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  7. Mar 24

    Holy fucking shit-balls guys, HOW have I wasted so much of my life on this hellsite?! Remember when it was all and live tweeting Bake Off and you had to be *invited* to join? Good times, y'all. Good times.

    2 likes
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  8. Retweeted
    Mar 24

    literally in total and absolute SHOCK that we have a new image of a black hole that shows its MAGNETIC FIELD LINES!!!!! this image was taken by , a VIRTUALLY EARTH-SIZED TELESCOPE. this shows the inner edge of a black hole ARE U KIDDING ME

    179 replies 3,205 retweets 15,468 likes
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  9. Retweeted
    Mar 24

    It's like watching a country have a mid-life crisis. We left our partner, said we'd be better off, then our new relationship didn't work out so we lie to everyone about how great we're doing and then get a tattoo.

    All government buildings in England, Wales and Scotland to fly Union flag every day
    138 replies 1,766 retweets 10,157 likes
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  10. Retweeted
    Mar 23

    After Bill Clinton banned assault weapons in 1994 mass shooting deaths dropped by 43% When the Republican Congress allowed the ban to expire in 2004 they went up more than 290%

    768 replies 35,197 retweets 118,140 likes
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  11. Mar 24

    Your day might be going badly but at least it's not going "Oh Shit, I've Blocked The Suez Canal" badly...

    1 reply 1 like
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  12. Retweeted
    Mar 24

    When Priti Patel rants about boats remember only 0.18% of the population in the UK are refugees. If they have recourse to public funds its £37.75 weekly. Just over £5 a day. Priti Patel was paid £1,000 an hour as advisor to Viasat whose systems are used on Royal Navy Warships

    82 replies 4,838 retweets 14,214 likes
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  13. Retweeted
    Mar 23

    For some reason Boris Johnson's press secretary Allegra Stratton won't say whether he agrees with the Scottish Conservatives that a politician who misleads Parliament should have to resign.

    196 replies 3,530 retweets 15,048 likes
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  14. Mar 22

    Timeline cleanser!

    0:18
    Rain rain go away! 🌧☔❤
    1 like
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  15. Retweeted
    Mar 22

    Bristol police tasered their own race relations adviser in the face and then tried to arrest him again just weeks after they “apologised”

    40 replies 2,284 retweets 5,424 likes
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  16. Mar 21

    The census asks about as many questions about your employment as that friend you knew from school who you haven't spoken to in 10 years, messaging you out of the blue to get involved in an MLM.

    1 like
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  17. Retweeted
    Mar 21

    I think the world is ready for a TV series where a spry hobbit-lady solves crimes in the Shire whilst eating pastries nicked from Bilbo’s kitchen. call it Law & Mordor.

    108 replies 1,129 retweets 7,358 likes
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  18. Retweeted
    Mar 21

    So, just to check because not one moment of it crossed my timeline yesterday, did yesterday’s anti-lockdown protest across London result in violent police arrests? And if not can we talk about optics and proportionate responses to a candlelit vigil yet?

    1 reply 4 retweets 13 likes
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  19. Mar 21

    Look! Feminism benefits everybody!

    People sleep better in countries with more gender equality.
    2 likes
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  20. Mar 20

    Have England even bothered turning up to any of their matches? Are they playing with an arm tied behind their backs or something? Didn't they used to be not embarrassing?!

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