Note especially what he was doing then that he’s not doing now: leaning back. He kept his weight on his heels, pelvis forward. For the past couple of months, he’s been keeping his weight on his toes (which is gonna end with him faceplanting), knees locked, butt pushed back.
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Not a diagnosis at ALL, but a lot of guardians and caretakers of stroke victims have seen HARD, FREQUENT parallels in his behavior, gait & posture. I especially saw my grandmother go into that constant leaning posture after her 2nd major event. (Amongst other behaviors.)
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Anyway... For all that the polyester leisure suit jacket and (maybe damp?) khakis looked... okay yesterday? He’s back to his shitty, cheap, unstructured poly-rayon looking bad wool scraped from the back of the discount men’s rack. Good suits don’t wrinkle like that from wearing.pic.twitter.com/NkShbPxA2m
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Drag lines down sleeve: it’s pulling at the shoulder seam and also at some constricture in the arm - the lining is too tight or at the elbow. Shoulder seam dropped. Horizontal drag lines around his midsection: too tight above waist. Vent at back pops open: full butt adjustment.pic.twitter.com/YiPSwj5Tnb
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The back shoulders are actually...not bad. Of course his posture is shit, but that fits. The drag lines under his arm, though, indicate more of the too tight in the midsection. Note Melamine’s shit posture, too. Cam isn’t nearly as upright as most Royals, but she’s not slouching.pic.twitter.com/yIhXVhFMhq
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It’s all off the rails here. That fabric pooling in the small of his back: that’s a swayback adjustment, for people who have a deep lower spine curve. Lots of us have it; it’s an easy fix. Cheap suit give-away? That lack of adjustment, and the lack of sleeve adjustment.pic.twitter.com/qvouK95qhn
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MELAMINE IS BARE LEGGED. NO STOCKINGS. BAREFOOT IN THOSE SHOES. TO MEET THE QUEEN. London: your fashion police are needed. Get her into the Tower and do not let her out until she can recite the protocol. (Also, those are bad shoes for her feet. All wrinkles and looks wide.)pic.twitter.com/rlqN20jedN
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Oh, fuckery fuck. Compare the White part of Dipshit’s outfit to the white part of Chuckie’s, right behind him. Can you spot what’s fucking wrong here? That’s not how cutaway tails should work.pic.twitter.com/xDd2Rquvat
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And it just gets worse, no matter how you look at it. There is so much wrong. Trousers are typically badly fitted. Waistcoat is too long, jacket is too short. Sleeves of jacket are too long, shirt sleeves are too short (you should see 1 cm. Shirt collar’s too tight. Jowly.pic.twitter.com/Rqql1fftrL
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This is British Foreign Secretary Jeremy Hunt, who is a nice enough chap and fairly well versed in the protocol of state dinners & men’s formal wear. (With his lovely wife who rocks that gown) That’s HOW that style should fit. Mostly. (He’s got the waistcoat a little low.)pic.twitter.com/eQikgzaZgG
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Oh, by the way! THAT WOMAN is present!! Looking like she’s gonna drink some blood, and she’s got the craft store fake pearls planted on her tiara. Also, I think she’s wearing the satin track suit gown with the chandelier crystal zipper pull... Or one like it...pic.twitter.com/qPbFM90uRS
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Okay, another rule of State Dinners: NO BARE SHOULDERS. All the other women get it, Melamine. Also noting here: What *isn’t* Melamine wearing? Jewels. She’s not entitled to a tiara, but no necklace or bracelet. That’s cuz nobody loans to mob. They’ve pissed off EVERYONE.pic.twitter.com/QTsRYLZqYx
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(And my seriously favorite Brit Royal, Brigitte, Duchess of Gloucester. She’s kind, she’s put together, she’s always willing to go be nice to people, she’s practical as fuck, and she’s just an all around MVP. Be like Brigitte! )pic.twitter.com/GrlKVsuT35
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So... on baggy gloves. This is a problem that Americans have when we have to go to formal events. We don’t know how to wear gloves, and so there aren’t many sold in the US. Gloves - kid and satin, both - get bigger as they warm up. When we try them on, the right size feel tight
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This is Laura and W at Lilybet’s 89th birthday. Note Laura’s gloves are also too big and baggy. (Though their clothes ALL FIT! Good job, Shrub. I never thought I’d miss you.) Note that Her Maj’s gloves are very well fitted. She knows the right size, and how to wear them.pic.twitter.com/LqslaRytnI
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And I note that Michelle Obama did NOT have this glove derp. Because Michelle is made of class & kindness & intelligence & spine & honesty.pic.twitter.com/LXemrqmdVy
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(Michelle had a wrap for the no bare shoulders.) Gonna be a long night, Your Majesty. Of course he’s on a mansplaining, self-aggrandizing tear. It’s what he does. (Ask the Yeomen of the Guard to get something in his drink. It’s okay!)pic.twitter.com/KXw2RYeDix
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Oh, good lord, Ivanka’s wearing a blue bathrobe, isn’t she?pic.twitter.com/6sHIZbD6Ja
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Wearing a sheer shoulder isn’t exactly a problem, unless her Maj doesn’t like you. See: Here’s Queen Max of the Netherlands, whom Queen Elizabeth adores. Queen Max can wear sheers. NO PROBLEM. (Also, she’s another queen. She can do what she wants.)pic.twitter.com/5PVwkPxGOO
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The Magatwa in the feed saying you don’t wear jewelry over gloves is a fucking classless Texan who probably thinks daytime diamonds in the pool are thing. Daytime diamonds only acceptable how how Her Maj wears them. 1 brooch, a wedding/engagement ring. No bracelets, necklaces.
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Yes, you DO wear jewelry over gloves for white tie events. If you’re wearing opera gloves, you may wear bracelets and dinner rings. Opera gloves are not supposed to be pulled off. You’re not burlesque here. They have a row of buttons at the wrist.
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You unbutton the wrist, pull your hand out, and tuck the hand of the glove inside the wrist while you eat. (You don’t eat with gloves on.) If you are wearing long sleeves and short gloves, you can just pull the gloves off. THIS is why we wear long sleeves to state dinners.
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(By the way? I block Magats and Magatwas.) But the key is: you don’t remove jewelry at the table, and jewelry is required for these events. And so are gloves. (I didn’t make the rules, people. Yes, they’re silly. They come from the time when elbows were considered erotic.)
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Also: this is 30K feet. This etiquette is why young women used to be sent to finishing school for 2 years. Etiquette at this level? It’s an associate’s degree. Anyway: Note the shoes, from earlier today. Note Cam’s shoes.pic.twitter.com/KNuH1PrZln
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And note that they met on the grass. Cam is wearing cute, sensible, low, block heeled two-tone shoes, with which she can actually WALK ON GRASS. Melamine (Yes, because she’s plastic) is in 5” stilettos, without stockings. There’s a good chance she’ll actually break a heel...pic.twitter.com/KuIBSjALnK
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This is why wedges & block heels are more appropriate in all formal settings. It’s being careful of your surroundings.
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The Governor of the Bank of England knows how to wear tails. (Also, this shows that white ties are *TIED* not on a rubber string, and that dress shirts don’t have buttons, they use shirt studs, and the waistcoat should have the large lapels.)pic.twitter.com/BAvteG9SEo
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Unfortunately, the chairman of BP (who is Norwegian) does not. He’s got waistcoat creep, too. Princess Pushy has a thing for popped collars. (I think she’s watched too many Disney movies & identifies with the evil royals.) But... I don’t hate that. It’s elegant.pic.twitter.com/ceJvBE9fZk
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Dear Duke of Kent: I’m so sorry. So... I wish I could say Kellyanne cleans up well, but she doesn’t. (BTW: if the queen declines an arm, all ladies in the room should decline.) The dress isn’t ill-fitting. It just looks like crumpled aluminum foil, or an emergency blanket.pic.twitter.com/K8DL86IblP
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Oh, Sarah. First, praise. Messy buns look GREAT on you. Always wear them. Red is also a good color for you. But. Spanx, my dear. I should not be able to see your navel. (BTW: That’s Prince Michael of Kent, That Woman’s husband. In this photo - two odious people.)pic.twitter.com/9Z0PA63Ouq
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