ChristopherSchelling

@CRSRipley

Literary agent and talent manager with a name so long that Twitter won't give me a space.

selectricartists.com
Joined April 2009
343 Photos and videos Photos and videos

Tweets

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    28 Jul 2015

    I've kept this cover letter for a novel my boss made me read in 1988 because its awesomeness never fades.

    22 replies 107 retweets 489 likes
  2. Jun 9

    Contractor said a friend came down with something from an ant bite. "It started with an F..." he pondered, and then he got it: "Phlebitis."

    4 replies 10 likes
  3. Retweeted
    Jun 7

    In Britain tomorrow we're having another election because we keep electing idiots

    8 retweets 14 likes
  4. Jun 7

    I sent a generous rejection email and the writer responded, "You are a looser" and boy am I sorry I missed out on that one.

    15 replies 14 retweets 137 likes
  5. Jun 6

    A new chapter in the Ongoing Adventures of Bad Ad Algorithms

    6 likes
  6. Jun 5

    And you're a terrible driver, which is slightly more dangerous.

    3 replies 3 retweets 15 likes
  7. Retweeted
    Jun 4

    A two-piece bathing suit. One piece to cover my body, one piece to cover the sea

    4 retweets 20 likes
  8. Jun 2

    I am "Are you going to ABA?" years old.

    1 reply 9 likes
  9. Retweeted
    May 30

    Kills Actual Living Creatures From Helicopters

    No one should be shocked at the sick audacity of sick characters. Kathy is a hurting individual. She needs help....
    44 replies 416 retweets 1,189 likes
  10. May 30

    The holiday weekend gave me time to rethink this whole publishing thing

    6 replies 5 retweets 50 likes
  11. Retweeted
    May 28

    Looking forward to checking out the pool scene in Los Angeles!

    1 retweet 10 likes
  12. May 27

    I nominate for Best Mother of the Bride of the Year.

    1 reply 3 likes
  13. May 26

    Our contractor just slipped up and now I know he refers to this as "the Girls' House." Good thing one of us is a memoirist.

    5 replies 1 retweet 39 likes
  14. Retweeted
    May 26

    The biggest takeaway from the Montana election is that people will go to literally any lengths to avoid a guy with an acoustic guitar.

    21 replies 77 retweets 567 likes
  15. Retweeted
    May 25

    emerging writers

    29 replies 1,245 retweets 3,992 likes
  16. May 25

    The extent of Mom's sympathy that Spicer didn't meet the Pope.

    7 replies 6 retweets 33 likes
  17. May 23

    Overseas they understand a celebrity being elected President. What mystifies them is how someone so grotesque had his own TV show.

    2 replies 6 retweets 41 likes
  18. Retweeted
    May 23

    in a nutshell:

    1 reply 46 retweets 107 likes
  19. May 22

    Current mood:

    5 replies 2 retweets 23 likes
  20. May 20

    Happiest of birthdays to the ever-insightful . No one matches their outfit with a cocktail like her.

    2 replies 45 likes
  21. May 18

    Mom re this morning's prez tweets: "He says it's a witch hunt, which is highly insulting to witches."

    1 reply 8 retweets 47 likes

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