If child-me was honest and said “the dog” or “a new toy” or “gravy!” everyone would laugh and I’d be corrected, the “correct” answer was “I’m grateful for all of us here together,” but nobody TOLD me that, so every year it would be a giant guessing game that I would fail.
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CN for CREEPTOWN My uncle George would also ask me & other female cousins at the holiday table if we were “past the handholding stage yet” I did not know what that meant, and now that I do know, the shrieks of laughter at every “....no???...” or “...maybe???...” = THE WORST.
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Uncle George thankfully limited his creepiness to that question, but his routine of taking all the kids out for “a nice after-dinner walk” while adults cleaned up the kitchen meant limping home with tears & blisters from 3+ miles in tights and patent-leather holiday shoes.
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Holiday stuff I miss: -Having my best friend and her little boy over to lounge in pajamas all day -Cooking for others (in general!) -My dad saying “C’mahn” in a thick Worcester accent during movies -Communicating with my older brother only in the language of eyebrowspic.twitter.com/WPZMX7xxdT
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Miss: Cutthroat game of Rummy with mom that starts the second I get home and continues throughout my stay Decorating tree with entire family history in homemade & collected ornaments DAD’S CRANKY DISHWASHER TETRIS (video from several years ago)pic.twitter.com/XpAER43hqS
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Things I do not miss: Calorie Countin’ and Portion-Controllin’ with Mom! Having to secretly season all food with whatever ancient McCormick spices can be found in house Airport Petri Dish Weather Delay Fun Times
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I’ll leave you with one last Dad clip, waiting in line for Star Wars in December 2015, right before he and the guy in the background became best buds by complaining about the new movies’ lack of Dahth Vadah: “I was put on this earth to complain about everything.”

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We haven't done holidays as a group with my dad's family since my grandma died, and I do not miss having to pretend my aunt's mashed potatoes with rutabaga everyone gushed over was good
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Theoretically there is a good way to have rutabaga but ruining potatoes is not it.

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Pretending that the sound of other people eating doesn't fill me with incandescent rage.
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