Yeah this really spoke to me. I was going to comment about how I didn't go to my mom's memorial bc my family would be mad for "making it all about me" (by grieving). Still don't regret not going though.
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And yet by not going you’re also “making it all about you”, I’ll bet, because you cannot win with these people.
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I vote for ‘cash in the travel tickets, have nice weekend away with someone who loves you AND SHOWS IT, rather than controlling pseudo-love abuse from DNA donors’.
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I'm estranged from my sister and it's led to some real family drama, and one year I didn't go to family Christmas. I thought it would be incredibly hard but it was so good for me to realize that I could be okay on my own. I hope LW finds the same resilience in herself!
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Take your money and do something lovely with your girlfriend. Some of us have to leave our families behind to know find out what it’s like to live as a whole, loved person in the world.
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This gets into the complications I haven't been able to describe. I was 2nd trimester when I learned my mother had cancerous tumors removed. I had 3-4 weeks to decide if I would visit before my OB grounded me to a 4 hour radius. I ended up not going. Less stressful short run.
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Heavy choices. Good job taking care of you.
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This is so great!! Saving for reference!!



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This is lovely in both the suggestions for dealing with this family bullshit and also supportive in allowing LW and others choose without guilt the responses they need for their situation.
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