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  1. Prikvačeni tweet

    ME: Is he going to make it? DOCTOR: No. I’m afraid he’s down with the sickness ME: *crying* oohwahahahah DOCTOR: *holds hand* oohwahahahah

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  2. Tomorrow’s headline: BERNIE SANDERS FINISHES IN DISTANT FIRST IN IOWA CAUCUSES

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    19. pro 2018.

    Someone in this world has consumed more mayonnaise than anyone else currently alive and they don’t even know it

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  4. Everyone knows the Super Bowl winners get to go to Disneyworld but what’s not as well known is the losers are required to go to Silver Dollar City and hand out oil change coupons

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  5. Congratulations to the Cowboys on winning the Super Bowl by write in votes

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  6. It was nice of Patrick Mahomes to let Mitch Trubisky play in the Super Bowl for him in the first three quarters but I’m glad he’s back now

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  7. please tell people to stop making fun of my nachos

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  8. IF YOU PUT ALL OF THIS ON TOP OF THE CHIPS THEY GET SOGGY IDIOTS SO YOU DIP THE CHIPS INTO IT

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  9. Super Bowl nachos, you can’t have any

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  10. Will I understand this Super Bowl if I haven’t seen the first fifty three

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  11. Who will win the Super Bowl today

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    I bet in every football huddle there's always one guy who talks about his goddamn cat all the time.

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    *jumps out of plane* *begins reading parachute instruction manual* STEP 1: PUT ON PARACHUTE *looks up* Well hell

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  14. Well have you?

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  15. *takes a bite out of string cheese without separating it* you ever murder anyone?

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Just Tokyo drifted my Mazda 3 into a parking spot in front of Home Depot and the other dads are holding grills over their heads and cheering

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    31. sij
    Odgovor korisniku/ci

    This is genius wish it got more love

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  18. If you put croutons on a salad it becomes a sandwich

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    ME: well times sure have changed THE GHOST OF THOMAS EDISON: so is everybody into eating butt now or what

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    23. stu 2017.

    me on phone: this is the worst possible time to dump me margaret tattoo artist: im not quite done so I could make it say I love margaritas

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  21. just what we needed

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