Bret Devereaux

In the United States, at least, we have an all-volunteer professional military and so the experience of combat is something that most of us can choose not to experience. This is a good thing. Societies are not made better by increasing the incidence of combat trauma.

I am attached to the John Adams quote, "I must study politicks and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathmaticks and philosophy [...] in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, musick..." It is, in a way, relevant here. https://www.masshist.org/digitaladams/archive/doc?id=L17800512jasecond …

We have an all-volunteer force not for its own sake, but to make the civilian society, with all of its joys and wonders and accomplishments, possible. The goal was always the painting, poetry and music; in that the all-volunteer force thus far should be lauded for its success.

It is clearly very possible for many people on the music-and-poetry side of the line to never meaningfully encounter the folks on the war-and-politics side, except perhaps for a mumbled 'thanks for your service' or a pre-game tribute. If even that!

And i think we sense generally that we aren't doing right by our veterans. I don't claim any special expertise in this. As I say in the post, I will always be on the civilian side of the 'civilians do not understand' even though I learned some of the technical language&concepts

I will say the field has brought me into contact with veterans - more than some, less than others - and if that gives me some insight, I thought I ought to share it from the civilian side of that gap. Folks want to know how to interact with veterans (and active duty personnel).

My advice comes in two parts: 1) treat military folks (vets, active service) as people. Not symbols, not opportunities to virtue signal, not as damaged things. They are humans. Interact with them the way you would with a normal person. They are normal people.

2) Talk less. Listen more. Most of the military folks I know aren't looking to be thanked at airports or get discounts at Arby's (some of them are offended by the latter, actually). What nearly every one I have talked to has expressed is a desperate desire for people to listen.

Now, don't ask. Don't volunteer them. They may not be ready to talk. My uncle served before I was born and wasn't really ready to talk until after I was in college. But he had a real need to talk and these days he'll talk to whole classrooms about his service.

Like I said, almost every veteran I've known has expressed, in some way, a deep desire to have people around them, or the general public, to understand...in the limited but very important way that we can.