I can't tell you it will work out. It may not. Very few of my cohort - from a top-tier program - very few have academic jobs. With few exceptions, the distribution is basically random. Hard work is important, but hard work will not save you. 2/5
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So I'm not going to tell you to just keep at it; only you can decide if that is good advice. What I am going to tell you is this: do not sacrifice your heath, your mental well-being or your life goals on the altar of your discipline. No one is waiting to reward you for it. 3/5
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Oh sure, some pretend they will, but when it comes time to apply to jobs - lost sleep, lost years, anxiety, empty bank account - they vanish. Hiring committees are mostly heartless. I don't know if you can earn a job; but I know you can't earn it through suffering. 4/5
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So here is my advice: take care of yourselves. Get a therapist. Life the kind of life which will make you happy that you went to graduate school and engaged in the life of the mind even if you never work in the field again. Because there is a good chance you won't. 5/5
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And for advisors: Suffering does not make better scholars; just because grad school sucked in the past doesn't mean it must suck in the future. Their mental health is your responsibility. Consider the mental health resources they have; take personal responsibility for it. 6/5
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