Okay, I want to talk about #incel (a.k.a involuntary celibate) for a moment, and it'll be a thread:
Due to the recent van attack in Toronto and the killer who identified as one, a lot of people have quickly dismissed this as a bunch of pathetic, angry, and hateful men.
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But what bothers me the most is that it’s assumed to be out of laziness and misogyny, which is NOT always the case. As someone who has had (and in some ways continues) to struggle understanding many social interactions due to my autism, I know FIRST HAND what it’s like.
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Watching everyone else around you be happy, get along, successfully attract people, and feeling the compassion and touch of someone you like, while you have to deal with raging hormones and the constant fear of rejection or ridicule, the frustration just keeps building up.
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Yes, OF COURSE these men are frustrated, angry, resentful, and jealous. It’s not because they’re “too lazy” to talk to women. They’re scared (and even downright terrified) of rejection and being seen as a failure by society.
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What pisses me off more is how people not only judge, ridicule, andcondemn them for their “toxic masculinity”, but peddle the completely useless and vague “all you have to do is just be nice” advice. If it were THAT easy, they wouldn’t be
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Look, I’m not saying that these guys just need a “pity fuck” to kill their frustrations, nor am I saying that anyone owes them a relationship. I shouldn’t even have to make that disclaimer.
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But what they DO need? Compassion. Empathy. Kindness. Counselling. Someone to talk to. These are people just like anyone else, and people are social creatures. Ridicule and hate will just add fuel to the flame, and before you know it, we'll create another Elliot Rodger.
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Emotions are a powerful force. Hate and anger, regardless of how justified or understandable they may be, can EASILY cloud your judgement and do FAR more damage than good. That goes for the #incel and the people criticizing them.
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Okay, I think I’ve said enough on this. If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading, and I hope that I was able to get you to see where I’m coming from.
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