b) I was interested in exploring any and all potential causes for these feelings, and was not strongly attached to the trans framework of dysphoria, also I wanted to explore my experiences on an intellectual level,
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(1/n) One thing that would have helped me A LOT when my dysphoria was at its most intense: a socially recognized label I could use to publicly express all of the following: a) I felt overwhelming negative feelings when people referred to me as a woman or observed my female body,
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and c) I was seriously suffering, and needed a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on from those close to me, and understanding and respect from strangers.
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Publicly labeling myself as trans offered me (a) and (c) at the cost of losing (b), and that was a bargain I was willing to make for a while because no one was offering me all three.
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My friends who were skeptical about my trans-ness were also the ones who changed the subject when I brought up my dysphoria, except for one person I was close to who was willing to talk with me ad nauseum about every detail of my dysphoria,
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really hung in there with it, for more than a year, at which point I desisted. That was one of the things that helped the most.
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If it had been a thing that you could ID as "dysphoric", and people would understand (a), (b) and (c), that would have been really useful. It could also have been a signal to others who were thinking along the same lines, so we could find each other.
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Something I think about a lot re: this: If I had managed to express this publicly through a label like "dysphoric", how could strangers (and friends) have behaved that would have satisfied my need to be understood, without following the script of "I am trans" or "I am male"?
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I feel like a simple verbal acknowledgement of the situation, or asking how I'm doing with it today, would have meant as much to me (maybe more) as someone affirming that I was literally a man.
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Hola, here is your unroll:
@BreadNRainbows: (1/n) One thing that would have helped me A LOT when my dysphoria was at its most intense: a socially… https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1277261393889288196.html … Have a good day.
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