Brad Lemley

It's useful to know that the most attractive people are also merely the most average. Once you internalize that, you appreciate unique faces - and you may find yourself attracted to people who deserve affection, but who have been overlooked by those who don't know what you know.

at Heard's face today reminded me of the contradiction at the heart of koinophilia - the loveliest faces are also in some sense the least distinctive or memorable. The same qualities that make Heard beautiful also make her face hard to remember.

is technically known as "koinophilia" which means "inclination toward the average." We like averages because they convey the promise of fitness - average specimens tend to be healthy and fertile, where deviations from average can connote sickness or harmful mutation. But looking

of all the chairs you have seen over a lifetime. The beauty-science people tell us that we do this with faces. The most beautiful faces, oddly enough, are the most average - they represent our cognitive averaging of all the faces we have seen. And we are attracted to them. This

Amber Heard is famous for various reasons, but I find her interesting as an almost perfect exemplar of a basic premise of attractiveness-science. Human beings are cognitive averagers. If I ask you to imagine a chair, you'll think of a rather average chair - the cognitive average

Contempt for neither. Everyone involved is a consenting adult. I would not do this, but it's evidence that free markets work. I would guess that after the race discussion, they mutually agree that they hate capitalism, then the clients go home and Saira emails the invoice.https://twitter.com/a_centrism/status/1224494010556997634 …

remains. Marriage works best between grownups, and part of the pleasure of a successful marriage is helping each other grow all the way up. Grownups say what they want, listen to the response, and arrive at a conclusion that works for both.

You might wish for these to develop organically, and sometimes they do - the kiss before going to sleep, for example. But we've found that when they are discussed, they are no less useful or valued. The discussion tends to be forgotten, but the mutually satisfying marital ritual

and negotiate some grown-up, head-on specificity about the small interactions that make up a marriage, rather than stewing that the spouse has not guessed your deepest wishes. It is of such interactions that marriages are fundamentally made, so this is not trivial in the least.

This experience is very Jordan Peterson. There is nothing wrong with routinizing your common domestic experiences so that you both are happy with the result. When you come home, how do you want to be greeted? Silence? Big kiss? Hello, sweetheart? Whatever, it's wise to develop

exceptions!). So my wife and I talked it out. Rather than fume, or yell "What?" - I had done plenty of both - we decided if I simply said "Noted" we could just move on. So we've been doing it for a week. I've said "Noted" four times. No real sweat. I think we have the solution.

especially if she would rather have the husband drive. So, my thought: women, generally, like a larger "safety bubble" surrounding them than men do. This is neither right nor wrong, for evolutionary reasons, women are simply more averse to physical risks (generally - spare me

making for both people. This is such a common marital stressor that I know TWO couples who have decided to have the wife drive 100 percent of the time. But this seems immature to me, and likely both simmer with resentment each time the wife takes the wheel...

more easily than he can? The hazard, of course, is that he has to look away from the dicey situation he was watching before. Nearly always, it appears that the wife saying "Look out!" in reference to the dicey situation the man had been watching...but not always! This is crazy-

presents the husband with an instant dilemma. Does he look away from the small space into which he is merging to see if his wife is referring to a DIFFERENT threat - say a child darting into the road from her side, or some other weird problem from a weird angle she can see

Hello married people who drive cars. Allow me to share a bit of domestic advice that may help you. A common situation: the husband is driving, and about to do something a little dicey - say, change lanes in heavy traffic. As he begins the move, the wife shouts, "Look out!" This

The tight dose-response seems fishy. Most such studies find hormesis response curves.

Deep breaths, my dear RV. Then turn away, shake the dust from your feet and never, ever look back.https://twitter.com/veganrecovering/status/1223150429007241216 …