Bored Elon Musk

Glad to have 2 hours back each month. Might use the extra time to start building Elysium.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink since all the water dried up.

Headphones that display whether you're on a conference call or just listening to music.

Email app for your parents that does not come loaded with a forwarding feature.

Trash bin that sucks up crumpled up pieces of paper nearby because you missed that epic basketball shot.

Synthetic Spines as a Service. Free delivery in D.C.

Avocado Toast Crunch

Fidget spinner that connects to and disables your phone while it's spinning thus solving the real problem.

Conference phones with a timer displayed on top that kills the call when the clock hits zero.

AI bot that answers telemarketing calls for you and has long, seemingly plausible conversations to waste as much time as possible.

Podcast app that connects to Google Maps and finds you a perfectly timed episode based on your commute.

Bathroom motion sensor lights that actually know the difference between someone not being in the room, and someone sitting still.

I don't care about GM. I'm coming for Exxon.

Incremental innovation is basically just adjusting for inflation.

Alarm that also starts a timer for how long you're allowed to f*** around on your phone after waking up.

"If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster gasoline vehicles."

In case you were wondering, the average value of a person's internet data is $19.84

Thermostat that sets your entire house to be the same temperate as under your blanket as you wake up and get out of bed.

Coffee cup lids that change color when you've ACTUALLY sealed them.