So my point is basically, I once aligned with some shitty viewpoints because I legit saw the idea that things would be ok if >
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And anyway, I guess my point is that society should have mechanisms to protect people from the most dangerous interpersonal dynamics
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And I take what I can get in terms of what I practically support, so like, I don't see any trade-off between trans bathroomrights& economics
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And a solution to trans exclusion is closer for our society than a solution to capitalism and its death toll
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Butwhen you get to Sheryl Sandberg type feminism,it actively upsets me because it says"we want women to be able to play this cruel game too"
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And I mean, I don't morally consider it okay to not hire women as CEOs for EvilCorp because of gender.
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But in pure honesty? I don't really care either if that happens at the top levels. A victory for Sheryl Sandberg isn't a women's victory
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Now, stuff like Harvey Weinstein shows why addressing toxic sex and gender dynamics matters a ton
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Because the number of women he was allowed to directly harm vastly exceeds the number who could ever have become famous
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For every Lupita N'yongo there are probably ten other women who were harassed or worse and still failed in their careers
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But if we could create a Hollywood where gender didn't affect your likelihood of quid pro quo exploitation it would still suck a lot
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Because those ten actresses could be asked to compromise on some other axis and still fail and end up hurt and broken
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Those are what I see as the stakes of realizing power dynamics are inescapable,and also as a very unintended but nasty effect of kinkshaming
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I dislike kinkshaming because it sucks for me personally but I honestly believe it's toxic to the Left because it promotes illusive equality
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If we single out Dom/sub relationships and especially M/f ones as "problematic," there is a massive implicit endorsement of other rls
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Which I frequently see among my gay/bi transfem and nb peers as "men are awful, no one should date them"
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(tw rape) meanwhile I have been raped by a woman, I know friends who've been abused by women horribly. Yes statistics show it's worse >
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> for women, but come on folks, how much time do we spend calling out shitty non-men in our communities? A fucking lot
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I'm not saying like "being gay is bad if you're a woman" or any of the other things I've seen this misrepresented as
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I'm saying that being especially put off by M/f BDSM, not as a personal trigger but as an overall ideology, is a sign you are ignoring shit
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Like to be blunt without my kinks I wouldn't understand critical theory and power AT ALL.
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I have always had this little fluttery feeling when I see people explicitly acknowledge that someone has a position of power or not
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And noticing that certain, often awful, things were hot led me to notice those dynamics more because, well, they were hot
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You can argue that that's trivializing but I mean all of this led to me becoming a professional critical theorist
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Which,inconsistent with my platonic ideal fantasy of a kinky lifestyle because my fantasy is being a sex object who has opinions that matter
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But having that fantasy is why I can do my job at all, in an indirect way, because it drew my attention to power
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And so like, when I see something like, say, Patreon trying to crack down on BDSM content, it bugs me for many reasons
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First of all because it's bad for sex workers, and plenty of kink critical people or ppl who don't share my kinks agree
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But even deeper because ultimately Patreon, as many of us have grimly joked, is a way to beg for survival above all else
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And there's a massive, glaring hole in your entire worldview if you're more bothered by someone begging to live who also likes being tied up
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Like, I can't fully explain my kinks in a way that sounds politically noble. It is POSSIBLE they are a trauma response but I dunno
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