The reality of the situation is they will “stay out of it” “mind their business” or tell their friend that he needs to “chill”. Rarely does that include really holding their friends accountable.https://twitter.com/kilahstaysbased/status/980163032251797505 …
I’ll tell y’all something about me. When I was in a DV situation in college my boyfriend of the time was in a fraternity. When it got to the point where I called the police on him, he was picked up that very day.
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Police saw the marks on my face and body and wanted me to go down to the precinct to take photos. I declined. They said to take pictures with my own camera if I changed my mind. I did that.
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The very same day, his fraternity brother calls me to ask me to put money on his bail. As if I wasn’t the one who put him there for what he did to me physically.
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From that moment on I was a parish. No one wanted to talk to me outside of my immediate friend group. Everyone had heard about it, but no one had offered me any semblance of sympathy or compassion. People I thought were my friends turned their backs on me.
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Even though I was the victim. Eventually my ex contacted me despite there being a restraining order. I showed him the pictures. He told me he didn’t recall doing any of that nor would be apologize for it. I literally had his handprint on my face.
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The alienation was so bad I ended up having to have a sit down with the president of the fraternity and basically PROVE to him that his frat brother did what he did to me. I showed him the pictures. There was no denial at that point.
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He couldn’t say anything but sorry for the way everything was going down. The treatment I was receiving from members of the Rutgers community as a whole.
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My ex’s friends knew what was going on. None of them stepped in or stepped up. They boldly and blindly took his side and I was victimized even further by this. I do not look to men to help me when it comes to DV. They’ll let you down continuously.
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