I’ll tell y’all something about me. When I was in a DV situation in college my boyfriend of the time was in a fraternity. When it got to the point where I called the police on him, he was picked up that very day.
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Police saw the marks on my face and body and wanted me to go down to the precinct to take photos. I declined. They said to take pictures with my own camera if I changed my mind. I did that.
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The very same day, his fraternity brother calls me to ask me to put money on his bail. As if I wasn’t the one who put him there for what he did to me physically.
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From that moment on I was a parish. No one wanted to talk to me outside of my immediate friend group. Everyone had heard about it, but no one had offered me any semblance of sympathy or compassion. People I thought were my friends turned their backs on me.
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Even though I was the victim. Eventually my ex contacted me despite there being a restraining order. I showed him the pictures. He told me he didn’t recall doing any of that nor would be apologize for it. I literally had his handprint on my face.
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The alienation was so bad I ended up having to have a sit down with the president of the fraternity and basically PROVE to him that his frat brother did what he did to me. I showed him the pictures. There was no denial at that point.
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He couldn’t say anything but sorry for the way everything was going down. The treatment I was receiving from members of the Rutgers community as a whole.
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My ex’s friends knew what was going on. None of them stepped in or stepped up. They boldly and blindly took his side and I was victimized even further by this. I do not look to men to help me when it comes to DV. They’ll let you down continuously.
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