There’s different types of rhetorics when it comes to dating men on this app and it works on a spectrum.
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On one end you have your “Pick Me” and “Black Love” type women. Taking any type of crumbs men have in their pockets and reinforcing the abuses women (particularly Black women) are subjected to. Shaming other women who don’t subscribe to those arbitrary standards.
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Then on the other end you have “Men are trash” type women. They know how trash men are and choose not to deal with them. They’re tired of the mistreatment and rightfully so. But it’s not that simple for women who are cishet and seek companionship via men. Pass.
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I’m somewhere in the middle. And I believe decentering men is in the middle too. Because instead of a) pandering to men or b) completely discarding them I’m c) worrying about my damn self regardless of wtf is going on around me when it comes to these men
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Decentering men means you stop putting them and their needs and wants and desires in front of your own. How do you expect to have healthy boundaries with people if you are subconsciously making sure you don’t “run him away”?
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