I’ve been thinking about this for a minute. When it comes to compatibility, a lot of it is dependent on one’s capacity. And you cannot just get the capacity to do certain things, you either have it or you don’t.
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It’s like your toolkit. If you’re missing the screwdriver, it won’t matter if you wanna screw in something. You won’t be able to because you don’t have the screwdriver. And we need to look at potential mates in the same manner.
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You can always change your behavior, but you can’t change the type of character you have because your character is your personality. You can become a better version of that personality but you cannot change your nature, your essence.
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You can be with someone and love them but if their character is not compatible with your character... Meaning the tools their bringing to the table don’t COMPLEMENT the tools you bring? You’ll always feel it.
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This is why people say you need to stop trying to change people because you are trying to change their character and you just cannot. It’s futile. THEY can change their behavior, but their nature will ALWAYS stay the SAME.
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So instead of looking at a mate and thinking they can do xyz, you need to really go within and think: “Does this person have the CAPACITY to do the types of things I need in a relationship?”
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“Is this in their NATURE? The ESSENCE of their being or am I trying to project my needs onto them?” This is something I’ve had to learn for myself. And you cannot will certain things into existence. Especially character traits. That’s like wishing your birthday was different.
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