Reminiscent of The Hermit card. The night is dark and full of terrors. You can’t take everyone on every journey. Sometimes they have to stay at home while you work through your dark shit. You don’t always need people around you to figure shit out, you don’t need their resolution.
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You don’t need that noise. The best thing the people around you can do is let you figure it out alone. This is hard for people who are natural caretakers and fixers. They’ll want to be involved but some shit they can’t fix or take care of. I used to be the same way.
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Especially if you’re empathetic?! You’ll feel something is wrong. I had to get out of trying to force people to let me help them. It’s not my job. If someone is going through something, that’s all you need to know. Be supportive. Give them the space to gin clarity.
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The thing that I DO require of people I consider friends and they’re going through shit is to TELL ME. Do not act like nothing is wrong. I have no issue respecting your space if you say “No. I’m not okay. But I don’t wanna talk about it.” Be okay with people telling you no thanks
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That doesn’t mean they don’t think you can help them or that your help is less than. Them wanting to isolate from you has NOTHING to do with how they view you as a person/friend/lover/family member etc.
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And on the other side of the game: DO NOT LET YOURSELF SUFFER ALONE FOR THE SAKE OF SAVING FACE. If you don’t have the answers Sway?! Reach. Out. To. Your. Tribe. The lesson goes both ways.
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I had this discussion with my friend recently, I asked her multiple times when she available& nothing ever followed through. Finally I let my feelings be known& she told me she was going through some things& was distancing herself from everyone +
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I’m not a friend who gives up easily. That’s all I needed to know. I just made it clear that I will always be there for her
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That’s really all it takes to comfort someone. Just knowing the option is there if they want to take it.
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I was taking it really personal when it wasn’t about me at all. After what happened with Kate Spade & Anthony I put my pride aside and let everything out. I was so afraid of being seen as annoying, but it wasn’t the case at all
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