Blind Chow

@BlindChow

Actual size.

Not a cat
Vrijeme pridruživanja: siječanj 2012.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    9. lis 2015.

    i texted random strangers trying to trick them into finishing my owl joke

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  2. 1. velj
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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    24. ruj 2015.

    INTERVIEWER: it says here on your resume that you're good at small talk? ME: ʸᵉˢ INTERVIEWER: holy shit

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    26. pro 2017.

    give this santa all the cookies

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    6. ruj 2014.

    Keep an identical glass of vodka next to the water on your bedside table for a refreshing morning game of Russian Roulette

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    7. srp 2014.

    This is new, thinks the dog. I've never seen my master on a leash before. Why is it tied to the ceiling? Maybe he'll tell me after his nap.

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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    26. ožu 2015.

    Billy Joel: Sing us a song, you're the Piano Man. Guy who is half man, half piano: Please kill me.

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    26. lip 2014.

    [At funeral] "USA… USA…" *Stands up* "USA… USA!" *Crowd joins in slowly* "USA! USA!" *Widow jumps up & pounds on casket like a drum* USA! US

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. svi 2016.

    one time ESPN had Air Bud on to do commentary on a basketball game and it was insane

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    12. ožu 2019.

    Me sowing: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!! Me reaping: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    [reading frantically]

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    18. svi 2015.

    Soldier Dying on Omaha Beach. "dont forget to tell my wife i love her... and...and...honor me every year with a .....mattress sale."

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    14. stu 2014.

    [aircraft carrier] *paints a T on the helipad* Captain: No it has to have an H Me: Why? *train sounds approaching* Captain: Oh dear god

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    30. kol 2018.

    When I was 8, my best friend stole my boomerang and we got into a big fight. The next day his parents died in a car accident and I never saw him again. Jeff, if you’re reading this, I want my boomerang.

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    18. velj 2014.

    "And the award for Most British Name goes to..." *Benedict Cumberbatch takes a sip of gin with his eyes closed* "Helena Bonha-" *spews*

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    30. lis 2015.

    GOD: (creates earth) hell yea lizard planet! WINDOWS™: restart planet for important updates GOD: um ok *dinos die, man appears* GOD: wtf

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    29. svi 2017.

    Please...my son. He's very sick.

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  18. 15. velj 2019.

    If I ever went to prison, I'd rather be:

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    16. velj 2016.

    when u do not view yr fears as a trap which restrains u but as a vehicle which u must use to navigate the world

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    14. velj 2019.

    roses are red / violets are blue who let the dogs out / who who who who

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