Tweets
- Tweets, current page.
- Tweets & replies
- Media
You blocked @BlindChow
Are you sure you want to view these Tweets? Viewing Tweets won't unblock @BlindChow
-
Pinned Tweet
WIFE: he never compromises ME: look, Sean Bean is either pronounced Shawn Bonn or Seen Bean it can't be both THERAPIST: (nodding) he's right
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
People, it's a flavor based on an Oreo cookie, INSIDE an Oreo cookie


Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
-
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
-
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
-
Blind Chow Retweeted
god give me the courage to wear my cyanide capsule ring, the serenity to use it only in a true emergency & the wisdom to know the difference
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
Blind Chow Retweeted
[taking my final breaths after a freak accident] Tell my family I totes love them *gasping for air* but like, roll your eyes real hard
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
TWITTER: here are some popular tweets!!! do you want more??? ME: please no TWITTER: fuck you, here's some more anyway u piece of shit
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
Blind Chow Retweeted
Me: *takes friend to sandwich shop* Friend: *not sure what to order* Me: Ah, you're too stupid for sandwiches, we'll go somewhere else
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
Blind Chow Retweeted
extroverts love doing cocaine and having fights in sewers, while introverts cry and practice forbidden alchemy. there is no middle ground.
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
Blind Chow Retweeted
[i see a rat scurry across the floor at a restaurant] WAITER: oh god sir i am so sorry i will get rid of him immed- ME: no. let the rat cook
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
[Starbucks] INTERVIEWER: Under previous employment it says you were a "medium." What's that? ME: I talk to ghosts I: Oh you mean a grande
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
Blind Chow Retweeted
A group of drunk white people is called a 'Sweet Caroline'.
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
Blind Chow Retweeted
[while being tackled by police dog] what's his name?
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
CAT: *nudges me* ME: oh you want another treat? then beat me in a game of japanese chess, motherf– CAT:pic.twitter.com/GiQTUszzMX
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
Movie Cliché Poll: Have you ever used your teeth to tear a piece of duct tape off the roll?
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
Blind Chow Retweeted
Cop: Do u know why I pulled–*sees bald eagle in seat beside me* Oh didn't see him there. You can go. Me: America Cop: America Eagle: America
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
Blind Chow Retweeted
My new band, Red, White & Bro, is so fucking America. We all play the gun: fucking gunfire for forty-five minutes. It's beautiful, man.
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
Blind Chow Retweeted
Imagine if America cut open the Statue of Liberty and found skeletons inside and it turned out the French had just failed a trojan mission.
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
Blind Chow Retweeted
when i think of america i basically picture two guys with guns and one will shoot if he sees a breast & the other will shoot if he doesn't
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
Blind Chow Retweeted
[At funeral] "USA… USA…" *Stands up* "USA… USA!" *Crowd joins in slowly* "USA! USA!" *Widow jumps up & pounds on casket like a drum* USA! US
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.