Tweets

You blocked @BlindChow

Are you sure you want to view these Tweets? Viewing Tweets won't unblock @BlindChow

  1. Pinned Tweet
    17 May 2016

    WIFE: he never compromises ME: look, Sean Bean is either pronounced Shawn Bonn or Seen Bean it can't be both THERAPIST: (nodding) he's right

  2. 7 hours ago
    Replying to

    People, it's a flavor based on an Oreo cookie, INSIDE an Oreo cookie 😱😱😱

  3. 8 hours ago

    Inception (2010)

  4. Jul 17
    Replying to

    trob deman osla si nos ym

  5. Jul 17
    Replying to

    Which expression would you use if you had no interest in something?

  6. Retweeted
    17 Sep 2013

    god give me the courage to wear my cyanide capsule ring, the serenity to use it only in a true emergency & the wisdom to know the difference

  7. Retweeted
    8 Sep 2014

    [taking my final breaths after a freak accident] Tell my family I totes love them *gasping for air* but like, roll your eyes real hard

  8. Jul 12

    TWITTER: here are some popular tweets!!! do you want more??? ME: please no TWITTER: fuck you, here's some more anyway u piece of shit

  9. Retweeted
    Jul 11

    Me: *takes friend to sandwich shop* Friend: *not sure what to order* Me: Ah, you're too stupid for sandwiches, we'll go somewhere else

  10. Retweeted
    17 Nov 2013

    extroverts love doing cocaine and having fights in sewers, while introverts cry and practice forbidden alchemy. there is no middle ground.

  11. Retweeted
    Jul 3

    [i see a rat scurry across the floor at a restaurant] WAITER: oh god sir i am so sorry i will get rid of him immed- ME: no. let the rat cook

  12. Jul 8

    [Starbucks] INTERVIEWER: Under previous employment it says you were a "medium." What's that? ME: I talk to ghosts I: Oh you mean a grande

  13. Retweeted
    May 27

    A group of drunk white people is called a 'Sweet Caroline'.

  14. Retweeted
    Jul 3

    [while being tackled by police dog] what's his name?

  15. Jul 6

    CAT: *nudges me* ME: oh you want another treat? then beat me in a game of japanese chess, motherf– CAT:

  16. Jul 5
    Replying to

    Movie Cliché Poll: Have you ever used your teeth to tear a piece of duct tape off the roll?

  17. Retweeted
    25 Oct 2014

    Cop: Do u know why I pulled–*sees bald eagle in seat beside me* Oh didn't see him there. You can go. Me: America Cop: America Eagle: America

  18. Retweeted
    24 Apr 2014

    My new band, Red, White & Bro, is so fucking America. We all play the gun: fucking gunfire for forty-five minutes. It's beautiful, man.

  19. Retweeted
    17 Nov 2014

    Imagine if America cut open the Statue of Liberty and found skeletons inside and it turned out the French had just failed a trojan mission.

  20. Retweeted
    30 Jun 2014

    when i think of america i basically picture two guys with guns and one will shoot if he sees a breast & the other will shoot if he doesn't

  21. Retweeted
    26 Jun 2014

    [At funeral] "USA… USA…" *Stands up* "USA… USA!" *Crowd joins in slowly* "USA! USA!" *Widow jumps up & pounds on casket like a drum* USA! US

Loading seems to be taking a while.

Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

    You may also like

    ·