I'm confronted with the irony of my past self thinking that landing a prestigious job would help me be less troubled by impostor syndrome, when the reality is that working a job that is incredibly sought after has only compounded the feeling that I'm an undeserving fraud.
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I'm in the company of artists who are significantly better than I am, working at a job that demands the highest possible standard I can deliver with every new piece, and all of that is (and has been) genuinely good for my growth but has also been absolutely paralyzing at times.
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I tell aspiring artists to be okay with making bad art, because you have to be willing to make a lot of bad art before you can make good art. And this is absolutely true and I stand by it. But man if I'm not stuck feeling that I can't make anything bad or I will lose everything.
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And that feeling stops me from making art altogether. It stops me from wanting to stream for fear of people finding out that I'm not as good as (I think) they think I am. I'm glad I've finally put my finger on the issue because now I know what I need to unpack.
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God I can relate so much, I've barely created anything in the last 3+ years because of this. It's always reassuring to be reminded that others struggle with it too though. I really hope you are able to kick its ass 
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