Happy to send Cal three books of his choice.
Just DM me the name and address to post 'em to and the three titles.
I'll post them off asap.
Follow
Big Green Bookshop
@Biggreenbooks
Moved to the seaside with the amazing & our kids to start a new adventure.
"One man book-selling machine"
Big Green Bookshop’s Tweets
DO IT WATERSTONES.
Quote Tweet
I make a point of buying books at my local @Waterstones rather than ordering on Amazon because I want bookstores to thrive, but if I go into your store and a member of staff asks me to wear a mask, you will lose my business forever. twitter.com/Waterstones/st…
Earlier today my kids discovered that a raspberry makes a really groovy hairstyle for a Lego figure.
That Jack Monroe's pretty ace.
So, I thought maybe as a way of saying thanks, I could give away 50 of Jack's books to people who might appreciate them.
I've bought 25 copies each of Tin Can Cook and Good Food for Bad Days to send out.
If you want one, let me know.
I found out today that my son thinks Amsterdam is called Hamster Town and I think it's important that we all call it that from now on.
OK.
I will send ANYONE a copy of Matt's book who feels they might need it.
Just DM me your name and address. That's it.
If anyone wants to help me cover the cost of this, if you're OK to paypal what you can to simonkey68@msn.com, using family and friends.
Thanks.
Quote Tweet
If anyone feels they need a copy of Reasons to Say Alive, a VERY important book by Matt Haig,
@emmaisaway is offering to buy one for you.
I'll try and cover any others that are requested.
If you feel you need this book, let me know. twitter.com/emmaisaway/sta…
Hi. Just so you know, i'm not a computer program. It's me typing stuff. Piers Morgan is a twat. JK Rowling is incredible. I shall continue.
If I needed any more encouragement, here it is.
Quote Tweet
So @Biggreenbooks is tweeting me an entire Harry Potter book because I'm a 'twat'.
This, of course, just makes him an even bigger twat.
I won't be selling it.
Replying to
"have you been involved in a motor accident in the last three months. You may be entitled to compensation..."
Imagine no Piers Morgan
It isn't hard to do,
Nothing to lose your shit for
And no tweets from Donald too.
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace
You may say that I'm a snowflake.
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join me,
And the world won’t buy The Sun.
I'm gonna swear.
If you have a problem with what Greta Thunberg is trying to do and how she's trying to do it, you can fuck right off.
And then, perhaps you can fuck off a little bit more please.
The Big Green Bookshop has a little announcement to make. Please take a couple of minutes to read it if you can.
Thanks.
bit.ly/28oaiu
. Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say
that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.
It's hot, so I've let all our books take their jackets off.
This is a novel tweet isn't it?
Hello.
I bet that you'd look good in a bookstore, I don't know if you're looking for romance or I don't know what you're looking for.
I said, I bet that you look good in a bookstore, looking for a book like I Robot, or 1984, or 1984.
A thing.
I'm a bookshop who does a fair % of its sales because of Twitter.
I had a blue tick. I no longer do.
Spending £8 a month on something that will allow me to possibly sell more books seems OK.
Still working out what to do though.
Nobody will see this tweet, obvs!
I'm off to bed.
From 9am tomorrow you really need to start buying some books off of us.
We're seriously skint.
6 days to pay bills.
x
Maybe not such a big news story, but we've just bought some foil.
A month ago, I was in a bit of a fix.
OK, I was in a LOT of trouble.
I sent this message out on Twitter. The response was quite incredible.
Things have improved a lot since then & I wanted to say thank you.
SO MUCH
You lot are absolutely awesome.
Quote Tweet
Hello. Firstly, can I apologise about the following tweets. I have reached a point where I don’t quite know what else to do. I am tweeting on behalf of me (Simon), not Big Green Books.
Just sold a book.
That's another £8.99 Jeff Bezos won't get.
Greta Thunberg is probably the most important person in the world right now.
I'm sure she doesn't want to be, but i'm so pleased she is.
I, Tim, am allowed to use my colleague, Simon’s, twitter account once a week, on a Sunday. The weight of this responsibility lays quite heavily on my soul. So here it is. We Are Open. Phew, I thought that went well, didn’t you?
Our bookshop will be ten years old tomorrow.
When we decided to open a bookshop in Wood Green, most people thought we must be crazy.
An independent bookshop in Wood Green?
Don't be ridiculous.
Well, it may have been ridiculous. But we're still fucking here.
You know what? I am so lucky.
I have no money, my flat is riddled with damp and I suffer from agoraphobia, but I am living my best life. I try to do all the things that make me happy, and this seems to work!
I love life. It's a wonderful thing.
I'm no longer paying rent on the shop in Wood Green as from RIGHT NOW.
The lease has been signed over to someone else.
I've been paying rent & rates on the empty shop for the last six months.
This is now over!
I cannot tell you how happy I am about this.
*collapses*
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
I just want a book to read
I just want one for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true oh
All I want’s a hardback or two.
My girlfriend bought me some Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I have never eaten a Krispy Kreme doughnut until this morning.
I must now sell the bookshop to help fund my new Krispy Kreme doughnut addiction.
Not bored yet.
Quote Tweet
That moment when @Biggreenbooks realises everyone's bored with his Harry Potter stunt & he's still got 32,241 tweets to send me... 
Thanks so much, I've got a list from Cal now and his address.
Can you paypal £8.99 to simonkey68@msn.com, using family and friends, with the note "CAL".
I'll send him a book on your behalf.
Today's stats.
Breakfast : sausages and mushrooms (+ 1 fried egg)
Steps: 21706
Books Sold: 13
Horses Bought: 0
Did I speak to my Mum? : Not today
Currently Reading : Paper Sparrows by Nathalie Abi-Ezzi
Extra info: I spent £7 in Poundland earlier.
If anyone feels they need a copy of Reasons to Say Alive, a VERY important book by Matt Haig,
is offering to buy one for you.
I'll try and cover any others that are requested.
If you feel you need this book, let me know. twitter.com/emmaisaway/sta
This Tweet is unavailable.
On our way home from school today, my daughter pointed at a tree and said "that tree looks like a pig. You should put it on Twitter".
So here is a tree that looks like a pig, courtesy of my daughter.
I am massively happy right now.
We're skint, we live in a crap flat, but my kids are happy & me & my girlfriend are pursuing our dreams.
Looks like i'll be on Good Morning Britain next Monday talking to Piers Morgan & Susanna Reid about Harry Potter. Wonder why they asked me?
Hello, we are open. To celebrate #BlackFriday we are selling our books at their recommended retail prices.
That Boris Johnson's a bit of a cunt, isn't he?
I apologise for the word 'bit'.
Hello, we are open. We have £29,452.10 worth of stock in the shop right now. If you buy it all I can go home early.
The best thing about rain is that, when it starts, you can go into a bookshop and you won't get wet.
I am absolutely delighted to have lost 40 followers since this tweet. Delighted they are no longer following.
Quote Tweet
You know what? I rate David Lammy.
Next month, I will celebrate my 35th year in bookselling.
I've sold books for 35 years!
I've done some maths and reckon i've sold over a million books.
Gonna add "i've sold over a million books" to my twitter bio later.
Also, where's my medal?
I'm tired. Off to bed. Goodnight everyone & thank you all so much for the huge support.
Goodnight , you cheeky little muggle.
Hello INDIE BOOKSHOPS. I've written something about getting together to form an Indie Alliance, so we can negotiate with publishers for better stuff.
I'd really appreciate it if you could read and share. Thanks.
bit.ly/2mH8Chh
So.
I wrote a thing about how Independent Bookshops might work together to get similar deals than the big chain stores.
Over 100 bookshops have been in touch so far.
Whoop etc. did this article on Monday
It was very lovely to be mentioned in The Guardian today as one of the places to shop to avoid Amazon.
When an eel twice your size bites off half of your thigh, that's a moray.
Two nights ago, someone smashed the window of Jerky's, the Caribbean restaurant, next door to our shop and nicked the till.
They've lost 2 days takings and had to replace the window.
If you're in Wood Green over the next few days, do come & help them get back on their feet.
Books are red,
Books are blue,
Books are awesome,
so read a few.
psst...
*anyone looking for books?
I can sort you out. No questions asked.
Hardbacks, paperbacks.
I can even get you spiral bound ones (if that's what you're into).
All sent out discreetly.
Your little reading habit's safe with me.
Tweet me.
You know you want to *
It's Halloween tomorrow. Why not scare Amazon by not buying anything from them all day.
So, I'll be on Good Morning Britain on ITV1 tomorrow at about 7.50am, chatting to Piers Morgan & Susanna Reid about Harry Potter. Gosh.
"Would you like me to ruin loads of people's lives?"
"no, of course not!"
..later.
"Would you like me to ruin loads of people's lives?"
"no, of course not!".
...later.
"If I fuck off soon, would you like me to ruin loads of people's lives?"
"yeah, go on then"
Replying to
They offered an excellent solution.
We'll be sending books to them to help support their designated charity partner, The Teenage Cancer Trust.
And we'll be getting ONE HUNDRED Krispy Kreme doughnuts on March 8th.
Everyone wins!
Three cheers for Krispy Kreme Doughnuts.
Someone's just bought 2 books from our 2nd hand section. One was How To Deal With Difficult People & the other was a book about Kick Boxing.
Please stop looking for a fight on Twitter.
It's really boring now.
Instead, let's look for, oh, I don't know.
A camel who knows stuff.
A terrific spelling mistake.
An acrobat called Lesley.
The number 146.
Anything but angry.
Cheers.
Sorry.
I now have to stop offering post overseas.
It's hopeless.
New rules introduced post brexit that kicked in last year mean that loads of stuff goes missing.
It's pointless trying.
I've refunded (and lost) hundreds of pounds and I just can't afford it any more.
Sorry.
Like a bookshop,
Stocked for the very first time.
Like a bookshop,
With our art books, next to crime.
Replying to
Which is the Brewster's local Waterstones?
I'm happy to buy a book from them if they do this.
Hey . How many books have you sold today?
I've sold 21 (about to sell 3 more too!).
Worried?
You should be.
Hello, to celebrate Black Friday we shall be selling all our books at their recommended retail prices.
DON'T MISS OUT!
I am in a rail replacement bus. I am the only passenger. The driver has asked me if I can direct him.
This won't end well.
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
I just want a book to read
I just want one for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true oh
All I want’s a hardback or two.
Today's stats
Cheese eaten. Dolce latte!
Steps. 13015
Books sold. 15 (XV if you're Roman)
Horses bought. 0 (0 if you're Roman)
Did I speak to my Mum. For 2 mins (II if you're Roman)
Extra info. Today has been shite, then great & then shite again.
And then GREAT!
A wild ride.
Replying to
This is the first deal you've made with France for ages.
My friend Elspeth warned me ‘Never ever shorten my name to Elsie’.
‘Or what?’, I said.
‘Or Else’, she replied.
My kids are asleep. I know this because they've just pre-ordered this book that's all about them. bit.ly/2s1LECt
Please retweet. x
Fucking hell.
It's high time they threw the fucking book at Johnson.
If you'd like to buy a book to throw at Johnson, let me know the title and I'll sort it out for you.
#marketing
Quote Tweet
EXCLUSIVE: No 10 staff held ‘wine-time Fridays’ throughout pandemic with Boris Johnson regularly witnessing the gatherings.
Sources say PM encouraged aides to "let off steam" despite indoor socialising being banned under lockdown rules.
mirror.co.uk/news/politics/
We are closed.
You've bought enough books now.
You can stop for 4 days.
Thank you.
Really.
Thank you so much.
BEST CHRISTMAS EVER.
x
. OK Piers, time for bed now.
No, stop that, it's late.
Have you done a wee wee?
Good.
OK We'll read some more tomorrow night.
Today I have been totally overwhelmed by your extraordinary kindness.
Thank you for everything.
Don't quite know how I can express how grateful I am.
You are ace.
Quote Tweet
Hello. Firstly, can I apologise about the following tweets. I have reached a point where I don’t quite know what else to do. I am tweeting on behalf of me (Simon), not Big Green Books.
I picked up my post today from the post office and this was in it.
I cannot tell you how much it lifted my spirits.
Thanks so much to Gary S for sending it.
I really needed this.
S
My Mum's not very well.
She's had to go to hospital.
I'm off to Bristol tomorrow to see her.
Might be there for a while.
Trying top get stuff sorted before I go, but SOZ if I don't.
Cheers.
Replying to
The last eleven years have been intolerable mate.
also
Replying to
A quick update.
If you have donated any money for this. THANK YOU.
If you have DMed me, asking for a copy, THANK YOU.
I will reply to all requests for Matt's book, and EVERYONE who asks will get a copy, but there are quite a few (!) so it may take me a bit of time.
Simon
Ran a half marathon this morning.
Wasn't sure whether to mention it, cos of the smugness etc.
But decided to screw that.
Ran a half marathon this morning.
I wonder how many books Milo sold today?
Probably less than us (37).
That may be because Milo is a huge unbearable cunt.
Off to bed.
A message I just found from my daughter.
I shall sleep well knowing this.
I cannot thank you enough for the (literally) life changing response to this.
I am a bit of a wreck right now.
I love you lot so much.
Quote Tweet
Hello. Firstly, can I apologise about the following tweets. I have reached a point where I don’t quite know what else to do. I am tweeting on behalf of me (Simon), not Big Green Books.
I spent 17 years working for Waterstones on the shopfloor. I can tell you that EVERYONE who works there deserves a living wage. And more.
It's not #buyastrangerabook day today, but...
On September 6th, someone messaged me to say they'd send me £100 to spend on books to give away, on the day Truss resigned.
True to their word, they have just sent it!
So, if there, something you'd like, get in touch.