Joe BernsteinVerified account

@Bernstein

Señor Technology Reporter | Mediocrities everywhere: I absolve you! I absolve you. I absolve you. I absolve you. I absolve you all.

joe.bernstein@buzzfeed.com
Joined December 2008

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  1. i never saw rob thomas man again. this is what i looked like in 2006, for reference. NOTHING LIKE ROB (8/8)

  2. Guy looks like I told him his dog was dead. “You don’t need to be such an asshole, Rob,” he said. “I was just excited.” And walked away (7/)

  3. Finally I spin around. “I’M NOT ROB THOMAS, I HATE HIS MUSIC, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE” (6/)

  4. He follows me all the way from e13th and ave b to the 6 at cooper square. asking for an autograph and calling me rob the entire time (6/)

  5. I started to walk away. He followed. “Rob I love your music. Please sign an autograph.” I don’t look anything like Rob Thomas (5/)

  6. “Rob. Please sign an autograph for me,” he said, and whipped out a piece of notebook paper and a pen. I was like “really funny dude” (5/)

  7. “Huh?” I replied. I had no idea who Rob was. “Rob. Fucking. Thomas. Match. Box. Twenty.” he said. I laughed. “Hahaha, what?” (4/)

  8. one morning, i walked out the front door. east 13th street. wearing a suit. an unremarkable man approached me. “Rob?” he asked (3/)

  9. i was living in my mother’s apartment in the east village. it was an internship at a financial trust that i needed to wear a suit to (2/)

  10. back from a week out of the country. i see the internet has decided that gay talese is evil and watermelons are good. what else did i miss

  11. its stupid when girls say they cant find a guy, yet they ignore me. its like saying youre hungry when theres a hot dog on the ground outside

  12. I bet Ed helms family gets so bummed whenever he starts singing

  13. Genuinely surprised there hasn't yet been a feminist critique of/backlash to everybody wants some

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