PLEASE STOP BEATING UP ON #incel. These are guys that are hurting underneath their rage. This scrutiny is not something they asked for and I'm concerned for the well-being of the people involved.
Read the thread for #incel and see how people are reacting to them. Not to the Toronto van killer specifically but to the whole group. Mocking, derision and out of hand dismissal. Is it really any wonder that these people cloister themselves in these isolated online groups?
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They isolate themselves and repeat the cycle. It's their CHOICE to do so. Also: I cannot control how other people react to them, but I can tell you if they talked to me, a woman, that way, I'd be pretty hostile. I think most people would reject the sentiments expressed.
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I reject the sentiments they express. But I can still acknowledge their pain. Do you think expressing hostility and contempt for these people will inspire them to get the help they need or just retreat further into their own resentment and hate?
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I've been sexually assaulted and have the right to the validity of MY emotions. Their lack of ability to empathise and connect to others is what landed them where they are. My empathy dried up the moment they began talking about women as objects to gratify themselves with.
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I'm sorry for what you've suffered. You're entitled to your feelings. But I'm trying to help the situation. Like addicts beneath the destructive behavior lies deep pain. Easing the latter might help the former. I don't know if compassion will help but I'm certain contempt won't.
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I haven't run over to try to slam their egos into the ground, but you're going to have a hard time trying to get me to find a lot of compassion for them. I think the best I can drudge up as a grim sort of determination. I'm not sure it's contempt so much as revulsion.
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I don't blame you but don't mistake my intent. Their rhetoric and violence are symptoms that can only be fixed by addressing the cause; loneliness, depression, low self esteem. This is not "coddling". It's trying to fix a social problem for everyone else's sake as much as theirs.
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Then I suggest you get a professional to step in and help with it. Frankly I'm not trained in this field. I show compassion by not acting out the violence that was visited upon me.
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I think that's what I've been saying all along. Get them professional help. I don't begrudge you your anger and revulsion. Just don't mischaracterize my empathy as "enabling" or "coddling". My empathy is as much for the innocents they won't harm if we get them the help they need.
End of conversation
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