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Law! But also Order!!https://twitter.com/ZackBornstein/status/1346903734698168320 …
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Is chess cross platform or does it only work on my ceiling? (Might be too late for a Queens Gambit joke. I’m just dumping my drafts)
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FruitxSalad Retweeted
I love y'all and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.
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FruitxSalad Retweeted
RIP to daft punk. You taught me it was okay to be two French robots.
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FruitxSalad Retweeted
THANK YOU!!!


Hundreds of people are volunteering to escort elderly Asian Americans to help keep them safe. #StopAsianHateCrimes#ProtectOurEldershttps://www.cnn.com/2021/02/15/us/volunteer-group-helps-to-keep-elderly-asian-americans-safe-trnd/index.html …Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
Ok but if we all get together with our metal straws, we can just suck all the oil out from the bay.
https://twitter.com/abc7newsbayarea/status/1359304555897389056 …
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13 hours of R: $15 is too high D: No it’s not. R: Ya huh! D: Nu-uh!! R: Is too! D: Nu-uh!https://twitter.com/IlhanMN/status/1359433096643371008 …
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FruitxSalad Retweeted
So... A portion of this money goes to me, since I wrote ‘Cover Me Up.’ I’ve decided to donate everything I’ve made so far from this album to the Nashville chapter of the
@NAACP. Thanks for helping out a good cause, folks.https://twitter.com/APEntertainment/status/1358932374252367872 …Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
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To be fair, I still think TikTok should be illegal.
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FruitxSalad Retweeted
Alyssa Altobelli, Gianna Bryant, and Payton Chester, our honorary draftees in the 2020 WNBA Draft
pic.twitter.com/3CKVVAZpJV
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Twitter is crazy because someone will tweet “racial injustice comes at the hand of white people and our silence is violence” and their handle is WetAzzPatty and their photo is them chugging a white claw.
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If being a progressive politician is just tweeting out empty demands and pipe dreams, then I am in. We cannot continue to stand for the unjustified mishandling of the pandemic. $2000 checks/week!! And bring back the Sega Dreamcast!!
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FruitxSalad RetweetedThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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Tell me that Twitter is a fart noise and everyone who thinks they are funny are actually boring, without telling me that Twitter is a fart noise and everyone who thinks they are funny are actually boring.
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BREAKING: Cop Who is Unqualified For His Job Due to Giant Ego, Lack of Composure, and Poor Anger Management, Also Has History of Being a Scumbag 
https://twitter.com/bitofaninny/status/1344495540256575488 …Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
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“Die Hard is a Christmas Movie” is the “Pineapple Belongs on Pizza” of December.
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FruitxSalad RetweetedThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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My fiancée (still weird) got mad at me when I told her Santa is a Republican and the Tooth Fairy is a Hedge Fund Capitalist.
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