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BeNonessential's profile
Ben Matlock
Ben Matlock
Ben Matlock
@BeNonessential

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Ben Matlock

@BeNonessential

Nobody reads this. Music @ClabTunes http://allthatclab.bandcamp.com  Podcast! @nonessentialpod http://thenonessential.libsyn.com 

Spokane, WA
thenonessential.libsyn.com
Joined February 2007

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    Ben Matlock‏ @BeNonessential Apr 26

    Alright, here's some random thoughts on the whole "incel" shit. Thoughts from an awkward, anxious guy who is 26 years old with 0% success rate in the dating game. (Man! I just knew all that lack of sex was all to prepare me for something great: this stupid topic)

    10:56 AM - 26 Apr 2018
    • 1 Like
    • Kelly B.
    1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      1. New conversation
      2. Ben Matlock‏ @BeNonessential Apr 26

        First, it's not a woman's fault that she's not interested in you. She doesn't owe you anything, and the most you can request on a social level is her honesty about this. And to hold rejection (even the ugly instances of it) against the entire gender is to be a pure shithead.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        Show this thread
      3. Ben Matlock‏ @BeNonessential Apr 26

        Rejection on any level stings like a son of a bitch, and in the relationship world it feels the most personal. No matter what is actually said, you can't shake the feeling that you as a whole are being told you're not good enough. So the impulse to blame something.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        Show this thread
      4. Ben Matlock‏ @BeNonessential Apr 26

        Certainly you deserve a chance, right? So why are you not getting one with the women you're interested in? Like I said, to blame women for this is immature entitlement. Incels have apparently went this route, and it's way more pathetic than just being a virgin.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        Show this thread
      5. Ben Matlock‏ @BeNonessential Apr 26

        Others guys will fall into a trap of self-blame. "I'm not good looking enough", "I'm too awkward", and every other fucking thing you can think. Their self-esteem is just completely in the toilet. And self-hatred usually is a quick shortcut to outward hatred.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        Show this thread
      6. Ben Matlock‏ @BeNonessential Apr 26

        Incels is for them to fucking get over themselves and their entitlement. Women are people with their own desires and if those don't line up with yours, it doesn't make them lesser or a hostile force in your life. Incel sympathizers, meanwhile, probably need to consider this:

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        Show this thread
      7. Ben Matlock‏ @BeNonessential Apr 26

        Stop looking for shit to blame for why your relationship status is what it is. Every time you've had trouble talking to a woman isn't necessarily anybody's fault. Sure, you were maybe awkward, maybe you could clean up better, but recognize the dating game for what it is.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        Show this thread
      8. Ben Matlock‏ @BeNonessential Apr 26

        Even in today's society, dating and relationships are just a biological mishmash of attraction, traits, values, and a little bit of luck that those things will actually line up for us. And that shit will line up, but it's fucking chaotic. And you can't take it personally.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        Show this thread
      9. Ben Matlock‏ @BeNonessential Apr 26

        *personally when it doesn't* I mean. This doesn't mean you're perfect, but you're not fundamentally broken because some women weren't interested or you unintentionally make an awkward ass out of yourself. Our society is not set up for you to be desired by everybody or even most.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        Show this thread
      10. Ben Matlock‏ @BeNonessential Apr 26

        So knowing that love is really a bit of a crapshoot that we are all naturally wired to play, the only thing I get kinda mad at anymore is when something tries to make somebody who is alone feel like shit for it. Like they did something wrong, or they would have someone by now.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
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      11. Ben Matlock‏ @BeNonessential Apr 26

        The game is too random to break somebody down for not winning the jackpot yet, and if you actually have genuine love in your life then you should really just appreciate how great it is that everything lined up.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
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      12. Ben Matlock‏ @BeNonessential Apr 26

        It's the "Not perfect, but are you perfect for each other?" thing. Every awkward conversation, every failed relationship, is all just a roll of the dice to find that. And as cynical as I am, I do believe we can win. I know because I S-ranked all of Cuphead. Persistence > Random.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
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      13. Ben Matlock‏ @BeNonessential Apr 26

        So relationships and dating? It's all a game, and we should keep playing until we win. But don't hate yourself when you don't win. And definitely don't hate your fellow players. We're all losing at this table. Learn to enjoy it.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
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      14. Ben Matlock‏ @BeNonessential Apr 26

        Again, most of this was directed towards the more misguided who would sympathize with incels. Incels themselves, who have made hatred and bitterness a "cause", probably need some real help. And if you know anyone showing that type of frustration, don't just ignore it. /rant

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      15. End of conversation

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