בתשוע

@Batshua

Batshua de Quetzalcoatl. Jewish mestiza genderfluid gray-asexual panromantic polyamorous pagan gimp. Also probably a dragon. Factually correct, but misleading.

Connecticut River Valley, MA
Vrijeme pridruživanja: travanj 2010.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    1. srp 2018.

    I just stripped the emoji out of my "friendly name" for ease of access, but I'm sad there's no space for them in my bio. I preserve it here: 🖖🏽♿️ בתשוע 🐉🏳️‍🌈

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 20 sati

    Wait so the rest of you don’t even HAVE a separate New Year just for trees?

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    I’m here at the airport and just walked by Mandy Patinkin (for real) and he was making arrangements with some friend on the phone and said “what time is brunch on Sunday and more importantly what time is it over” and I’ve never related as much to a celebrity in my life.

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 24 sata

    Contrary to popular belief, so-called mad scientists do not habitually set out to create monsters. Any monsters created are delightful surprises. But this time, Dr Dastard built a monster on purpose. He animated it, then put it under his bed. "Here, I made you a friend."

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    6. velj

    Dear ableds, When a disabled person describes their challenges to you, it's incredibly inappropriate to respond with "everyone has that, though!" I assure you, unless you've an undiagnosed disability, you have no idea what it's like.

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    i believe this insane / horny valentine my youngest sister made for a school project deserves wider attention

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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    I DID IT. My mouth got me into trouble. Him: I don’t want to date a woman who relies on makeup or wigs or a plastic surgeon Me: that’s a bold statement coming from a man with a beard that covers half your face and jawline. 💀

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    6. velj

    if you ask me, what's wrong with kids today is that they spend too much time on their phones and not enough time running away from home to live in the Metropolitan Museum of Art and working with eccentric elderly ladies to confirm the provenance of Renaissance-era sculptures

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 20 sati
    Odgovor korisniku/ci

    Church came to my brother's place one day, and as they were talking to him, his dog was barking loudly. He yells up stairs "Hey Babe, can you call the dog?" Before my sister in-law could answer I yell down "Sure Sweetheart, C'mon Satan !" They never came back.

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 21 sat

    What's a polite way to respond to Christian Missionaries when they come to your door & won't leave? I let him talk briefly, but then explained that I'm Jewish & he kept talking about how I should convert so I said "no thanks" & shut the door. Is there a better way to handle that?

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Jews write G-d like that so we can shit talk G-d without Them knowing

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    Gynecologist: Do you have any plans for the upcoming fake manufactured holiday? Me, a Jewish professional: Tu Bishvat?

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    6. velj

    Every month: My husband: you seem depressed, are you feeling like you’re about to start your period? Me: oh my GOD. That is MISOGYNY and also NOT true and *goes to bathroom* fuck.

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    Here is why I don't care if an AITA post is fake, or a troll, or whatever and why people who say "oh it's fake" kind of annoy me: because even if it IS fake???? It's still describing behavior that happens ALL. THE. TIME.

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    A SIMS GAME WHERE YOU MANAGE A MONASTERY IN THE 15TH CENTURY AND MIRACLES KEEP MESSING WITH EVERYONE ABBOT BRIAN HAS BECOME AGELESS FRIAR GREGORY CAN SEE THROUGH TIME BROTHER ROBIN HAS TURNED INTO A BIRD

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    People like to claim you can't be funny without being offensive but my friend once looked at a packet of Tesco's chicken and said "60% chicken? I like those odds" and I'm still laughing sixteen years later.

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    When a baby hands you a toy phone, you take the call. And when a teenager bakes cookies, you eat the cookies. I don't care if you're on a diet or you're not hungry or they look terrible. As long as they won't put you in the hospital, you eat the cookies.

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    Can you imagine a young Black girl seeing a cover with someone who looks like her but then finds nothing that reflects her in the pages? No Black girls at all? Y'all that is more than a bait and switch. That's harmful.

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    Romance Writing Pro Tip: It's super effective to write something in an angsty scene like "the rejection was a fist in his chest." It works a lot less well if you type "fish".

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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    imagine getting so horny that you call an attorney

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