I've always admired the brutal honesty of service staff at Chinese restaurants. Once, when my ex-wife ordered a coke, the waiter grudgingly informed her that he would bring her one, but advised her not to drink too much lest she put on any more weight. 1/3
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Another time, we made a long overdue return to one of our favorite haunts only to have the waiter remark my wife had "gotten bigger". Then, off her withering look: "Working out!". At which point he proceeded to mime dumbbell curls. 2/3
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Yet another time, we went for lunch with my sister-in-law and her young son. "Three adults and one baby,"she informed the waitress. "Two babies,"the waitress corrected her. "One baby,"pointing to her son. "Two baby" pointing to her belly. She wan't pregnant. 3/3
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A young couple came into my store asking for a box of It's a girl! cigars. I smiled and asked the young lady when the baby was due... she said she wasn't pregnant. The entire store went dead silent. I quietly left :(
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