Tune into ITV5 tonight at 7pm to watch our new advert! Rated 18+ for foul language.
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Bantshire University
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We throb knowledge, we pulse excellence. Ranked No.1 in the UK for Canteen Facilities (CEF, 2022). Vice-Chancellor Vince Chancelier (He/VC). Parody.
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The sky's the limit for Scotland's first university-branded hot air balloon which was officially launched in the beautiful surroundings of our Ross Priory estate on the banks of Loch Lomond at the weekend! #StrathLife #HotAirBalloon
Full story >> strath.ac.uk/whystrathclyde
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We’ve just shot down an unidentified object from the Strathclyde area, which had ‘Big Andy’ written on the side. We can only assume this was a spy balloon from a rival university.
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To celebrate the King's coronation, we've lowered the entry requirements for all courses beginning with CR to a grade III in GCSE History.
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Did you get the emergency alert?
- Yes57%
- No34.8%
- Not sure8.2%
781 votesFinal results
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Thank you for attending today's lecture. Attendance was a fantastic 696, however by 3:02pm that reduced to just 13. YOU WERE WARNED.
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Please ensure that all phones are on silent for the VC's lecture at 3pm today. Anyone making noise will be asked to leave the auditorium immediately.
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Our student numbers experienced a rapid unscheduled disassembly once.
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If you want to enjoy the exact same content but on a different platform, we’re also on F*cebook and Inst*gram 👌
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STUDENTS: Don’t forget, to vote in the May local elections all you need is a signed letter from your local Conservative councillor.
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We apologise for the noise disturbance following the installation of Samsung washing machines in the campus laundrette.
[🔊 ꜱᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴏɴ]
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NEWS: Students have returned from an exciting week-long skiing trip to Port of Dover.
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We won’t ever subscribe to Blue, so remember us as we slide into the dregs of Twitter.
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Starting April 15th, only verified VLE accounts will be eligible for academic feedback.
Verification through ‘Bantshire Blue’ starts at £7 a month.
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Welcome to our Open Day! 👋
Unfortunately, due to the clocks change, our ANPR cameras have fined all Open Day guests who have parked in our car parks between 8am - 9am. The fines cannot be cancelled, regrettably, but 3% will go back to improving the student experience.
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COMING SOON: We’re upgrading our student recruitment CRM to Excel ‘97, launching in 2027.
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I thought I was sat in the second day of ’s conference, but I’d accidentally wandered into Hey Duggee Live. -VC
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NEWS: If you’ve seen construction crews on campus, we’re excited to announce that we’re closer than ever to finding out who they are and what they’re building.
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Hi , our Academic Registrar has lost a pile of honorary degree certificates at your conference this afternoon, after too many tequilas. They last had them in the Lowry Theatre bogs. If your guests find them, they are free to keep them - they’re actually worthless.
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NEWS: We’ve signed a contract with ITV Digital and, starting next Monday, all lectures will include a five-minute ad break.
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We’re celebrating four years of throbbing knowledge and pulsing excellence #MyTwitterAnniversary
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🚨 STUDENTS: A siren warning will blast from your phone daily at 7am to test our new 'Lecture Attendance' alert system.
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Can’t believe it’s exactly one week until the day after the final day of the two day ‘Not Another HE Conference’. We look forward to providing the evening entertainment 🎤
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I’m a Bantshire student who studied abroad in Florence drilling holes for water. It was well boring.
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Unsure what Monday will bring? View our helpful infographic.
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"Let the pride pulse through you": Jo Grady announces success for UCU pension proposals - mancunion.com/2023/03/16/let
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Please vote in our e-ballot to have your say on whether we should hold an e-ballot on the e-consultation into the e-ballot.
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NEWS: All undergraduate applicants called Gary have been sent an unconditional offer as a mark of solidarity.
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LATEST: Our Gary Lineker School of Media is currently closed due to staffing issues.
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