Your role is usually not to help them reconcile the out-of-date appraisal with the present, but to help articulate and contend with the past
When someone confides in you, you are usually interacting with their appraisal of reality effective days or weeks in the past. It's good
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There is always a more up-to-date appraisal in the works, which you can contend with when it is ready
End of conversation
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