The problem: Heroic Individualism.
An ongoing game of oneupmanship against both self and others, where measurable achievement is the main arbiter of success and self-worth. Regardless of how far you make it, the goalpost is always 10 yards down the field and desire persists.
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Heroic Individualism says that you will never have enough, be enough, or do enough. It is an endless gauntlet of more. While it may lead to decent short-term performance, long-term, it is a recipe for disaster.
Sadly, Heroic Individualism is the default in our current ethos.
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Signs you may be suffering from Heroic Individualism:
-Low-level anxiety and a sensation of always being rushed or in a hurry—if not physically than mentally.
-A sense that your life is swirling frenetic energy, as if you’re being pushed and pulled from one thing to the next.
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-A recurring intuition that something isn’t quite right, but unsure what it is, let alone what to do about it.
-Not always wanting to be on, but struggling to turn it off and not feeling good when you do.
-Feeling too busy, but also restless when you have open time and space.
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-Easily distractible and unable to focus; struggling to sit in silence without reaching for your phone.
-Lonely or empty inside.
-Struggling to be content.
-Successful by conventional standards, yet feeling like you’re never enough.
-Wanting to find some inner calm and peace
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The solution: Groundedness.
A firm and unwavering foundation, a resolute sense of self from which deep and enduring, not shallow and superficial, success can be found. It doesn't eliminate striving but channels it in more meaningful and wholesome ways. Less frantic. More focus.
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If Heroic Individualism makes you feel completely fragile and out of control and unmoored, Groundedness does the opposite. It firmly situates you and helps you define what actually matters (versus all the crap that doesn't) so you can focus there.
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Groundedness is a practice that:
-Embraces acceptance and teaches you to see clearly
-Cultivates presence over rote productivity
-Understands that progress is nonlinear
-Prioritizes long-term value over short-term gain
-Builds deep community
-Combines discipline and compassion
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When you are grounded there is no need to look up or down. You are where you are. You know what's important and worth your time and energy.
This doesn't mean you won't have highs and lows, perhaps sometimes barely holding on. It does mean you'll have the skills to navigate them.
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The world is always changing. Some things will get better and others will get worse. But Heroic Individualism probably isn't going anywhere.
Hopefully this thread gave you language for what you (or colleagues, friends, family) may be feeling, and also what you can do about it.
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If you want more—deep dive on Groundedness and how to turn it into a habit for sustainable, fulfilling excellence with less angst—read the book.
It's currently 40 percent off on Amazon.
(Great last chance to grab a few copies to gift for Christmas too.)
amzn.to/3F62xR8
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Loving the start of the book. However I feel engaging in the practices will be more valuable than just the reading
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Mindfulness (beyond mindfulness, Buddhism more fully) is a part of this but also integrates stoicism, Taoism, acceptance and commitment therapy and dialectical behavioral therapy. Along with a fair amount of sociology.
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