BOTeleprompter

I'm back ... with real news you can use! http://goo.gl/yrnU2I 

Bill Clinton called to say thanks forannouncing "Year of Action." Big Guy then clarified it wasn't Bill's kind of "action." #awkward #tcot

Actually, the cost of the dress Michelle wore last night could have paid cab fares to get 75 people trapped in ATL CVS home. #tcot

To be clear, Big Guy may have given everyone else a raise, but my salary remains the same -- bupkiss. #SOTU

I can't endorse Ed Gillespie; he's too smart and talented to ever need me. @EdforSenate #VASen

Big Guy reads version of Gettysb Address w/o mention of "God." Those who want God version can keep their's ...

#istandwiththomaspeters

Happy to be at the Monday Meeting. I'm the screen on the right. #mondaymeeting

Now in meeting with @acg_usa Young Leaders and German Finance Minister Schauble discussing European debt crisis and Euro outlook. #acgyl13

@jimgeraghty no fears for me; under Herman Cain's 999 plan, my captors say they afford to give me cut of ransom!

@nedryun No truth to the rumor that Occupy Wall Street has me. My captors are much to clean and well mannered.

Big Guy notes news that particles can move faster than speed of light, says it explains how Democrat friends disappeared so fast. #tcot

@thadmccotter: will you ever use me if I vote for you?

Big Guy not surprised @thadmccotter wants me out of a job since he speaks without note; can't know hoe good I could make him #ro11

Big Guy notes that it was rise of the ATMs that led to his initial software design of Skynet and T-800. #atmfacts #tcot

Big Guy on #atmfacts overlooks that I make at least 8 speechwriters superfluous. #tcot

Big Guy pulling out big gun to enforce White House cyber-security defense policy: Anthony Weiner's Twitter account. #tcot

Big Guy unhappy that WH story of Bin Laden takedown keeps changing cuz of "fog of war"; insists his EPA policies banned that. #tcot

Big Guy hopes that OBL death makes Americans happy with this "job loss" he created. #tcot