Incredible x-axis here.
Follow
Ben Stanley
@BDStanley
Assoc. Prof., SWPS University. Welsh by birth. English by upbringing. Irish by design. Polish by choice. I am a lineman for the county.
Ben Stanley’s posts
My son just returned from school. His first words: “Our history teacher told us that the war in Ukraine is the Americans’ fault because they don’t know how to talk to Putin.”
History teacher.
She has Asperger syndrome and she’s speaking in a second language, you fatuous pillock. twitter.com/spikedonline/s
This Tweet is unavailable.
Ukraine opening a hotline so that Russian parents can find out about the whereabouts of their sons.
Ukrainian soldiers asking captured teenage conscripts for their parents’ phone numbers.
A Ukrainian citizen pulling up to a Russian tank and offering to tow it back to Russia.
“How’s Poland’s notoriously vociferous political divide responding to the current situation?”, I hear you ask…
Therapist: Polish Easter food isn't real, it can't hurt you.
Poland:
If FIFA won’t act, then Polish national team should unilaterally cancel its World Cup playoff match with Russia, and hold instead a friendly match with Ukraine at the National Stadium in Warsaw, with all ticket proceeds being put towards humanitarian assistance for Ukrainians.
UK - *stops accepting visa applications from Ukrainians without British relatives*
Poland - “…oh, and you can bring your pets”
Russian soldiers use the lift so they can get to the top of a building to do some reconnaissance, and Ukrainians…switch off the power. This isn’t the Russo-Ukrainian War, it’s the Great Russian War On Competence.
Quote
Ruscy weszli do windy, by z dachu biurowca ogarnąć teren, a Ukraińcy wyłączyli im zasilanie... LOL
That's nothing. When they take you to the ICU there's a machine they connect you to which does your breathing for you, which is a scandalous encroachment on a free-born Englishman's liberty to deoxygenate at will.
I think this is perhaps the most entertaining bit of the whole pathetic charade. Imagine having bitten, clawed and knifed your way to the job you’ve considered to be your destiny since childhood, only to find you’re really crap at it.
Quote
Boris Johnson isn’t very good, is he?
Twitter. Where you can learn from a Jesuit priest how to destroy a tank with a Molotov cocktail.
There’s a Polish village called “Piekło” - Polish for hell - which has a church that rejoices in the name of “Church in Hell”.
Quote
Poland's most famous bus line - the 666 to Hel, a town on the Baltic coast - has been brought to an end.
The operator has confirmed it made the decision after receiving complaints about the number, which one Christian group warned was "spreading Satanism" notesfrompoland.com/2023/06/14/end
Whatever you think of his policies, this is a different calibre of politician. Neil can't lay a glove on him here, and knows it. He'd be making origami out of Johnson right now.
Quote
"You don't want an election because you fear the outcome, you want a second referendum because you didn't like the result of the first. What kind of a democrat are you?"
@AfNeil challenges Tony Blair on backing referendum before election
bbc.in/2MkNcCo #andrewneilshow
Ah yes, Cassandra. The Greek priestess who was cursed to utter prophecies that were true, but which people - many of them in positions of great authority - would not believe.
Marvellous, Toby.
Równo 20 lat temu pewien młody Anglik po raz pierwszy przyjechał do Polski. Miałem tu zostać na trzy miesiące. Coś jednak poszło nie tak. Dziękuję za gościnę!
Just a reminder that when the Polish government congratulates itself in international forums for the role Poland has played in taking in Ukrainian refugees, it should actually be crediting the Polish people, who thankfully didn’t sit and wait for the government to do something.
Hello my vile Polish friends in the UK, with your vile solutions to the Enigma code and your vile RAF pilots and your vile propping up of basic public services.
Quote
If anything is close to “vile” it’s not what May said but people from EU countries (with which we have little historical connection) having automatic right to entry into the UK but citizens of old allies are - prudently - subject to stricter controls to keep inflows manageable twitter.com/campbellclaret…
I’m not sure there’s a better metaphor for the Brexit process than proudly smashing though a wall of polystyrene you erected yourself.
Quote
This campaign's getting silly now. Boris Johnson has just ploughed through the 'Gridlock' with a 'Get Brexit Done' tractor
17 lat temu angielska część mojej rodziny przeżyła bolesne spotkanie z wódką i flakami. Polskie wesela nie są dla początkujących.
Chwalenie Andrzeja Dudy za zawetowanie ustawy mającej na celu uciszenie krytycznego kanału telewizyjnego ma tyle samo sensu, co chwalenie kierowcy za to, że nie przejeżdża pieszych.
1. The dog ate my homework.
2. A big boy did it and ran away.
3. It was like that when I got there.
.
.
.
.
.
7773. We wanted to see the famous Salisbury Cathedral.
.
.
.
.
.
63672. He got into a fight with 15 men and fell on their bone saw.
Polish commentators being very careful to pronounce the name of the Tunisian player Jebali with a soft “g”.
“And then I told him that it’s all very well hyping the Athenian polis as the world’s first democracy, but such an understanding is predicated on a very narrow conception of the franchise, and it was in any case a political system wracked by arbitrariness and factionalism.”
Jestem pewien, że będzie wyglądać o wiele ładniej, gdy bawełna zostanie zasadzona, a niewolnicy przybędą.
Quote
"Biały dom" budowany na działce rodziny Aksamskich. To tutaj wg rozmówców @FAKT24PL ma zamieszkać rodzina nowej minister zdrowia Katarzyny Sójki. @Gruca_Radoslaw
[alien arrives on Earth]
Alien: "Ben, I need to understand what is, and I don't have much time..."
Me: "Mate, I have just the thing."
“The child weighs 485g. Thanks to the abortion law I have to lie here and they can’t do anything. They’re waiting for it to die or for something to start happening and if not then wonderful, I can expect to go into septic shock.”
Quote
Przewodów joins Przemyśl in the list of Polish placenames to make foreign newscasters go outside for a nervous cigarette before broadcast
“Kurwa”. The universal sign that something is broken, or that something is frustrating, or that something is painful. Or that you are in trouble.
Quote
He went from Billy big balls, to no balls when the Polish lads turned up. 
Michael Fabricant looks like a CBeebies attempt to explain Boris Johnson.
Quote
‘We need to make sure we leave one way or another’
Brexiteer MP Michael Fabricant says he will back Theresa May’s Brexit deal after having voted against it twice.
bbc.in/2WlXp4Z
There is an enormous opposition march in Warsaw, so of course TVP Info is running with exclusive coverage of the 1st All-Polish Parade of the Circles of Rural Housewives.
The logic is obvious: to contrast a bunch of cosmopolitan urban deviants with heartland Poland.
Now that towns and villages like this have been secured, perhaps a few representatives of the Western paleo-left and a Mearsheimer or two could be parachuted in to explain to these people why their liberation was a mistake.
Quote
No book can explain what it is like to live 6 months under the Russian occupation. People are kissing and hugging Ukrainian defenders in recently liberated Balaklyia
Central Europe is all those places where people get angry when you tell them they’re in Eastern Europe.
Żona: “Byłam dzisiaj w Lidlu. Olej Kujawski po obniżce VATu zmienił cenę z 9,99 na 11,40. To dopiero jest magia.”
Czy ktoś przypadkiem wie, czy odbył już męską rozmowę z Orbanem? Jeśli pięć tysięcy hełmów z Niemiec było "jakimś żartem", to czym jest odmowa dostarczenia czegokolwiek? "Dzisiaj nie ma czasu na zabetonowany egoizm", jeżeli dobrze pamiętam. Pełna zgoda.
I'm not sure if this is Polish state TV or the part of a computer game where you have to select your character.
The Spy Who Went Home Because It Was Cold
That’s nothing, Polish beer is brewed in a warzone.
Quote
Replying to
Czy Pan nie rozumie, że liczni ambasadorowie czytają po polsku, doskonale zdają sobie sprawę z tego, co Pan tu uprawia, a po prostu przestają Polskę traktować poważnie jako wiarygodny partner? Co za żenujący spektakl.
Wszyscy zszokowani chamstwem i arogancją Ryszarda Terleckiego - gdzie byliście przez ostatnie sześć lat?
Anyway, I hope the Chelsea fans who chanted in support of Roman Abramovich during the minute's silence for the victims of their chairman's friend in Ukraine are enjoying their morning.
My wife has just come into the room drinking fermented cabbage juice straight from the jar and I have never felt more certain that I am in Poland
Replying to
Assuming that this isn’t a bad joke, did you really not wonder at any point whether the Polish train company decided to name a breakfast after an armed conflict in someone else’s language? Because that would be a weird thing to do.
“Daddy, when did things really start to go wrong?”
“Well, son, it was around the time when the mainstream press started making the Mussolini argument.”
In the last 24 hours I’ve had six e-mails from students to inform me that they have received dispensation to work from home for now, not because they are afraid of coronavirus infection but because they are afraid of a racist backlash. They are all Chinese.
Polish government “LGBT people want to show our children pornography!”
Also Polish government:
“Hi, is that the police? Yes, I’d like to report the death of irony.”
Today, Polish Holocaust survivor, historian and journalist Marian Turski gave an extraordinary speech at #Auschwitz75. I searched for an English translation but could not find one, so decided to do one myself. I only wish I could do proper justice to it.
One day people will look back in amazement at how a nation of 40 million people ever allowed itself to be treated with such utter contempt by one small man.
Quote
Learning Polish nouns
Learning Polish verbs
Learning Polish adjectives
Learning Polish adverbs
Duda has signed a law allowing the parliament to create a commission that will usurp the functions of courts, prosecutors and special services and be used during the electoral campaign as an instrument to exclude opposition politicians from public life for up to 10 years.
At 9pm on Tuesday a caller phoned a local radio station in the Polish town of Kutno to say that a train would be passing through the station in 50 minutes' time carrying refugees, and appealed for people to turn out in support. They did.
Quote
Nigdy nie zrozumiem, dlaczego ktokolwiek spoza Wielkiej Brytanii interesuje się tym wszystkim.
If I were an organisation called “Stop The War” then I would simply appeal to the country that wants to start a war to stop wanting to start a war.
PiS is attempting to discredit a large protest march scheduled for this Sunday by evoking Auschwitz and the mass murder of Poles during WW2 (characteristically, they don't mention Jews).
If you’re following this evening’s events in Poland and are in the least bit shocked or even surprised at what has transpired, then clearly you haven’t been paying enough attention over the last six years. And you should. Because it might be your democracy next.
One of the iconic photos of the 2015-2019 parliamentary term. PiS MP Bernadeta Krynicka striding arrogantly away from a protest occupation by disabled people and their carers.
Now, Ms Krynicka is no longer an MP, while Iwona Hartwich, the mother of one of the protesters, is.
Dużo więcej dziennikarzy zapyta opozycję, czy też wprowadzi 800+, niż zapyta PiS, jak planuje pokryć koszty.
Nauczyciel muzyki mojego syna właśnie zmarł na COVID-19. Uprzejmie proszę o noszenie maseczek.
“OPPOSITION UNITED IN DEFENCE OF RUSSIA”, howls government propaganda unit TVP Info.
Poland, where a doctor criticises the health ministry one day, and the next day the health minister just casually tweets out the kinds of medicines that the doctor has prescribed for himself.
Quote
Replying to @a_niedzielski
Lek. Piotr Pisula, szpital miejski w Poznaniu wczoraj w @FaktyTVN "żadnemu pacjentowi nie dało się wystawić takiej recepty". Sprawdziliśmy. Lekarz wystawił wczoraj na siebie receptę na lek z grupy psychotropowych i przeciwbólowych. Takie to FAKTY. Jakie kłamstwa czekają nas dziś
Readers added context
Lekarze z całej Polski nadal zgłaszają problemy z wystawianiem recept na silne leki przeciwbólowe i psychotropowe.
rmf24.pl/fakty/polska/n…
Polish right-wingers saying that now is not the time to criticise PiS for consorting with the Putin-worshipping likes of Le Pen and Salvini.
No. Now is *exactly* the time to criticise them for that.
. takes off his shirt after scoring to show a message of support to Polish footballer Tomasz Kędziora, who is in Kyiv with his family. Gets a yellow card, of course. I hope he got a blue one too.
“In personal news, I have realised that RT won’t be able to pay my salary if Russia is cut off from SWIFT.”
Niektórzy ludzie, którzy byli przekonani, że można użyć dziecka jako narzędzia do ataku na matkę, będą mieli teraz okazję spędzić resztę życia żałując tej decyzji.
Polscy przyjaciele: czy komuś w Warszawie udało się zrealizować zagraniczny czek? Z jakiegoś powodu amerykański wydawca uparł się zapłacić mi za rozdział z wykorzystaniem XIX-wiecznej technologii. Byłem już w trzech oddziałach banku i w każdym z nich potraktowano mnie jak amisza.
18 years ago, a slightly bemused 22-year-old Englishman set foot on Polish soil for the first time, and immediately fell in love with this infuriatingly magnificent country. My Polishness has reached adulthood. Na zdrowie!
Replying to
I’m not a psychologist. I can, however, read.
