Allison Hantschel

@Athenae

Publisher, . Doing my best to kill journalism.

Chicago
Joined February 2008

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    12 Dec 2018

    When people say "the old media models are broken" what they mean is "the old models that let us pay stupid perverts obscene money to be pervy and stupid while also paying reporters won't let us do both anymore, and we choose to keep paying the stupid perverts."

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  2. 12 hours ago
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  3. 12 hours ago

    One of my top 10 things about these cats is how comically pissed they get when we clean. Not just the vacuum. Ada is mortally offended when I do the dishes or like pick up shoes.

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  4. Retweeted
    16 hours ago

    Oh, some of us were worried before it was cool.

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  5. 18 hours ago

    This woman is a narcissistic twit but let's also spare a thought for all the times men publicly fucked others' pain for Pulitzers before we make this a "women exploiting their children" problem.

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  6. Retweeted
    21 hours ago

    The only problem anyone should have with the word "motherfucker" is that it conflates the villains who do things like restricting food stamp access and denying refugees water with the people who do the important work of fucking mothers.

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  7. 21 hours ago

    Plus he, like, shot a dude in the face. Not on the House floor or anything, but still.

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  8. 21 hours ago

    While we're on it motherfucker is the nicest thing anyone's said about Trump in the past year.

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  9. 23 hours ago
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  10. 23 hours ago

    Fucking tits, it's too early for me to be this mad but after all this time do we really not see how dumb and rehearsed and predictable these flipouts are? Grab the motherfucker by the impeachment pussy already and quit screwing around, people are dying.

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  11. 23 hours ago

    America's most popular politicians are always sentient conference calls who never say real things, that works every time, ask five-term President Al Gore.

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  12. 23 hours ago

    How does she expect to win the votes of the I'm Not Racist But Honestly caucus or the Mandarin Jell-O Mold Coalition talking like that? Everyone knows you can't win without the six people who still watch the Today Show!

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  13. 23 hours ago

    I mean, the American Heartland isn't going to vote for someone who *checks notes* swears like their coal miner granddad watching a football player kneel during the National Anthem.

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  14. 23 hours ago

    Get ahead of it, you know. This is still salvageable provided she jerks off people who haven't won an election since the heyday of Milli Vanilli.

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  15. 23 hours ago

    She had better issue a sober apology for her words and that will totally tamp down this not at all disingenuous wingnut freakout by war criminals, traitors and people who stan Adolf Hitler in their spare time.

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  16. 23 hours ago
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  17. Retweeted
    Jan 4

    My take on Rashida Tlaib is that while the Democratic Party is being pushed to the left on policy, it's not really being pushed left at all on political temperament. And the policy doesn't really have a prayer unless people make the second push happen as well.

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  18. Retweeted
    Jan 4

    bring back the word "reporter' because people who make 7 figures doing hot takes are making "journalism" look dumb. also pay me 7 figures for hot takes

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  19. Retweeted
    Jan 3

    This is a great great great thread where you will 100% learn things.

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  20. Retweeted
    Jan 4

    advocating impeachment with salty language is actually a fairly tame response to a president who put children in internment camps

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  21. Retweeted
    Jan 3

    I dont understand sending unsolicited dick pics. My ass is 1000% nicer than your dick and I don’t send it to random strangers. And trust me they’d want it more than your awkward one eyed veiny melted-clay stick

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