The thing about stuff like this is that it’s not actually possible to “mean well” if you don’t care whether or not the other person is OK with what you’re doing.
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We are also wired for empathy and if you don’t care how someone feels about what you’re doing to their body, something is very very wrong
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I feel like if it's a cultural thing to touch women w/o asking, then maybe you have some cultural issues. Saying this as a bi-cultural Hispanic woman who has experienced waaay too much unwanted physical attention from men in predominantly Hispanic settings b/c 'its the culture.'
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Touch can proclaim friendship or ownership. The kind of touch I hate is the kind that happens in a power imbalance. Grandma pinching your cheeks may *seem* sweet, but it sends a message. If you feel like you "have a right" to touch someone, then you probably shouldn't.
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I've gotten into squabbles over this based on the premise that this was a normal way of life to people of previous generations, and no one told Biden that it was wrong or that he should stop, so he assumed it was fine. I, on the other hand, would do exactly what you suggested.
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I am 66 now and don't recall any age when adults thought touching others freely was okay, or would always be enjoyed, understood, and appreciated. He is 76, so when I was 10 he'd have been 20. It was not normally done, US East Coast, nor in Cali, or midwest, in my circles.
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this seems to come up a lot between generations in my family. when i grew up i had to say hi and give hugs and accept kisses, and it's really hard to explain to older ppl that my kids still love them even if they don't want to be giving hugs or saying hello
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Saying Hello is just polite. Having to hug and KISS random aunts and uncles? Yikes
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Asking for consent - as you should anyway - wins every time.
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Agreed. But in some circumstances the asking would ruin the spontaneity and also the gesture itself. If I had to ask for a hug or a kiss I would not bother with either. Save the hugs and kisses for those you know well enough.
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