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  1. Help me find my tooth

  2. Here to party

  3. If one more kid cuts me in line there will be blood

  4. Comedian Friends of Single People this Weds at . SIX COUPLES HAVE FORMED FROM THIS EVENT. SIGN UP!

    , , and 3 others
  5. Expedition Everest: Our first rollercoaster. @ Animal Kingdom, Disney World, FL

  6. Can you imagine? If you were me, you'd be in a plane right now.

  7. ✨DISNEY WORLD HERE WE COME✨ @ Newark Liberty International Airport

  8. I only hope that one day I love something half as much as Celine Dion loved that tan elderly fat man.

  9. Tonight at East Village at 8pm! Fun x 1000! Get tix here before they sell out!

    , , and 3 others
  10. "Wish in one hand and shit in the other, and you'll grow happy, healthy and wise."- Benjamin Franklin

  11. AshleyBrooke Roberts followed and
    • @jenspyra

      Writer for The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, formerly Senior Writer at The Onion. Robe Hound

    • @JenaFriedman

      comedians, filmmaker, former Daily Show producer, Letterman writer, tenured radical, Ebola Czarina, check out American Cunt on Seeso & Amazon Oct 20!

  12. DID YOU KNOW VIN DIESEL IS AN ANAGRAM OF "I END LIVES"??

  13. WE DID IT! The final ep of Rob & Chyna might have been our favorite? Listen to Rob & Chyna and Ashley & Nick to find out! Link ⬆️

  14. I learned a very important lesson tonight: if you want to feel good about yourself...Venmo me $5 for the rest.

  15. Having trouble sleeping? Repeat this phrase for maximum Zs: Do I have value? Do I have value? Do I have value!

  16. Isn't it "Ironic" that "Jagged Little" Hill thinks we "Oughta Know" that Trump has "One Hand In The Pocket" of Russia?? I guess "You Learn"

  17. An evening with BULLSHIT WOMEN! Tonight at ! 8pm. Come and bring your children.

  18. Good news! The first 100 thousand dollars you make is the hardest. And then it just gets easier after that.

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