Alex Phillips

150 years ago, Lewis Carroll was mocking caucuses and promoting ranked choice voting, yet here we are today still running around like dodos. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dodgson%27s_method …

When they had been running half an hour or so, the Dodo suddenly called out, "The race is over!" and they all crowded round asking, "But who has won?" This question the Dodo could not answer. ​Alice thought the whole thing very absurd.

Why are they using apps? I thought the whole point of the caucus was that each voter is physically present to be counted.

On Sunday a groundhog was used to forecast the weather, which is only slightly less ridiculous than the method used in Iowa the next day to elect a presidential candidate.

Spin us off under a different name, let the people who actually live and work here and interact with the customers handle some of the decision making, stop trying to micromanage us from over 300 miles away, then maybe you'll actually make more money out of us.

I don't know why corporate tries to hold this branch to the same standards as the other ones. We're in a much poorer area, in a different state with different laws and regulations, we offer different services to a different demographic, and they don't invest nearly as much in us.

They know that they've set impossible goals so they never have to give raises to those who meet them, so how very dare they scold us for failing to do so?

They know they don't pay us a living wage, or even a competitive one despite having higher prices than any of their competing businesses.

They know that manufacturers put barcodes in the worst possible places and that it takes 3 seconds just to find and unwrinkle them so that they can be scanned.

They know that the bags themselves are poorly made, can't hold much weight, and arrive ripped straight out of the factory. They stick together and it takes a ridiculous amount of time to peel them apart. They know it takes time to look up and type in the produce PLUs.

But there's no use because they know why. They know we're hindered by shoddy equipment; there's not enough counter space to sort and bag items; we can't scan AND bag AND do it with the speed and accuracy they demand; that there simply aren't enough cashiers and baggers.

They better stop asking, because one of these days I'm gonna go Martin Luther on them and stick a lengthy proclamation full of answers on there.

Management keeps posting these messages on the board. Why are you using so many bags? Why are you taking an whole 4 seconds on average to scan each item? Why are you asking for raises?

The season 2 bad guy in Netflix Sabrina just walks into a room with the season 3 bad guys who want to kill him and he's all "I bear the mark of Cain. You can not hurt me." And they just took his word for it. They didn't even check.

I have a headache after staring at the slot machine all day yesterday. Turns out my actions do have consequences after all.

"The whole world is looking at Iowa today" really drives home the fact that US elections are complete nonsense.

Rush Limbaugh has lung cancer, so I guess being such a blowhard has its consequences.

"Baby Yoda sure is popular, and what is Mr. Peanut if not the Yoda of nuts?" -Someone at Planters, probably.

Tom Cochran says life is a highway, but it's really more of of toll road.