Archer Shepard

@ArcherShepard

The universe's greatest Spectre.

Avoiding my mother
Joined February 2013
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  1. 4 Dec 2014

    I'm pretty sure I can save the galaxy with nothing but my tactleneck and ryncol. And my fish. I can't do anything without those little guys.

    1 reply 19 retweets 50 likes
    Undo
  2. 1 Dec 2014

    Liara, buy every fish you can find that's on sale for Cyber Monday. Because the ones I got on Black Friday are already dead, that's why.

    36 retweets 57 likes
    Undo
  3. 1 Dec 2014

    Cyber Monday is like Geth Christmas, right?

    2 replies 56 retweets 57 likes
    Undo
  4. 25 Nov 2014

    I told Liara that we eat pyjaks for Thanksgiving just so she wouldn't show up. I am now thankful to get more of Ashley's pie.

    4 replies 8 retweets 28 likes
    Undo
  5. 19 Nov 2014

    Garrus, I don't know what the hell swag is but you definitely don't have it.

    1 reply 13 retweets 34 likes
    Undo
  6. 19 Nov 2014

    Knowing Mother this is definitely a lie. I'm going to go throw up on Tali's terminal now.

    3 retweets 10 likes
    Undo
  7. 18 Nov 2014

    I only love my fish. And Blasto.

    2 replies 9 retweets 26 likes
    Undo
  8. 18 Nov 2014

    I'm coming for you, darkspawn. Boom, self-phrasing! Wait… Eww.

    12 retweets 38 likes
    Undo
  9. 17 Nov 2014

    Dragons are lame, Tali. Wait, Blasto killed dragons in Blasto XIV: Blastopocolypse? Okay, killing dragons is cool. But you're lame, Tali.

    1 reply 22 retweets 47 likes
    Undo
  10. 12 Nov 2014

    I'm onto you, Vega. Crashing that shuttle on Mars was your way of trying to get out of being the DD for the crew.

    2 replies 12 retweets 25 likes
    Undo
  11. Retweeted
    12 Nov 2014

    Here's a post I wrote about why history is awesome.

    5 retweets 5 likes
    Undo
  12. 11 Nov 2014

    Just a reminder that thresher maws are scarier than dragons. Unless they're space dragons…

    4 replies 24 retweets 38 likes
    Undo
  13. 10 Nov 2014

    I'd rather go on another suicide mission than face another Monday.

    3 replies 33 retweets 38 likes
    Undo
  14. 9 Nov 2014

    Seriously, Liara, you have way too many monitors.

    24 retweets 31 likes
    Undo
  15. 9 Nov 2014

    Liara, I need you to leave your office so I can watch Blasto XXIV: Blasto Saves Margarita Day. Yes, it is more important than your work.

    14 retweets 25 likes
    Undo
  16. 7 Nov 2014

    The best part about has been not free falling from space. Again.

    12 retweets 42 likes
    Undo
  17. 7 Nov 2014

    Oh wait, I had something for this. Danger Zone. Nailed it.

    1 reply 72 retweets 106 likes
    Undo
  18. 6 Nov 2014

    I've been drinking since to pregame for because I'm dedicated like that.

    22 retweets 44 likes
    Undo
  19. 31 Oct 2014

    I'm haunted by the ghosts of all the fish I've killed.

    1 reply 28 retweets 53 likes
    Undo
  20. 31 Oct 2014

    For Halloween I'm dressing up as Garrus just to see what it's like to not be incredibly handsome for a day.

    2 replies 21 retweets 43 likes
    Undo

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