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Approved News 6 proslijedio/la je Tweet
In Dark, Grainy Video Recorded on Battered VHS Cassette at Unknown Location and Conveyed to Heavily Disguised Investigative Journalists in Back-Alley Dead Drop by Ukrainian Mercenaries, Figure Resembling a Weary & Anxious Newslord 7 Issues Urgent Proclamationhttps://twitter.com/velartrill/status/1223755488480890880 …
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We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Static & High-Pitched Keening To Bring You This Important Announcement Direct From the Derelict Oil Platform Commandeered Three Weeks Ago By A Crack Squad of AN6's Most Fearsome Columnistshttps://twitter.com/velartrill/status/1223754542262693893 …
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"Voter Fraud is a Very Serious Crime:" Election Officials Sternly Remind Iowa Residents That Regardless of Whether One Has Attained an Extra Vote Due to Democrat Vault Breach, Only One Vote May be Extracted Per Citizen for State & Federal Elections
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"If You Believe You Have Been a Victim of the Democrat Vote Breach, Flee Immediately Into the Wilderness & Concentrate Hateful Thoughts on Bog Pests" Until Excess Power Burns Off, Public Safety Officials Urge Iowans
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Signs That Your Soul May Have Entrapped a Stray Vote Include "Sudden Sensations of Rapturous Potency," Spontaneous Teleportation, Awareness of Others' Most Secret Desires, Pyrokinesis, & Irrational Belief That One Is About to Become President of the United States
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Electoral Engineers: Iowa Breach Shows Characteristics of "Runaway Containment Failure Cascade:" "It's Likely That a Single Insufficiently Warded Phylactery-Tank Damaged Nearby Units, Releasing Extracted Votes Throughout the Site"
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"It's Sometimes Possible, Especially for Breaches of This Magnitude, for Human Votes to Become Lodged in Animal Souls," Says Dr. Theodore Prince, Prof. of Political Science: Some Species "Particularly Hazardous;" "If You See A Levitating Squirrel, A Glowing-Eyed Moose — Just Run"
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Absent Specialized Containment Facilities or Viable Host, Disembodied Votes Will "Careen Wildly About" Until All Energy Depleted or Human Being Encountered, Say Leading Scientists
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Governor Warns Several Human Settlements "Well Within Range" of Vote Vaults; Urges All State Residents to Hum the Hymn of the Sightless Worms & Think Undemocratic Thoughts Until Further Notice
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Authorities Place Surrounding Region Under Emergency Lockdown; Thermal Scouring Helicopters & Volunteer Flamethrower Brigades From All Over State Massing in Staging Ground Just Outside Exclusion Zone
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BREAKING: Experts Confirm Massive Vote Containment Failure in Iowa Democratic Party Electoral Vaults
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SOCIETY: Vermont Dreadlord Maximilianus Wieselfleisch Challenges Seraphina Sturmholz (D-Bennington) to Duel by Blade & by Spell High Upon the Shattered Crest Over Proposed Burlington Transit Subsidies
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Magic Solves Everything in Our Lives
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Number 6 Will Blow Your Mind All Over The Inside Of A Secret Bunker
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READ NOW: Seven Signs Your Toddler May Be A Reincarnated Nazi War Criminal — Can You Guess #4?
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Since my surgeries, this is the only news channel I trust and need.
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EXCLUSIVE: Anut-Eshel-Haphesh, Sevenfold Lord of the Sundered Continent & Plaguebringer Accursed of Heaven, Shares His Takes on the Upcoming Republican Primaries & the Faceless King of the Stolen West — Only on Approved News 6
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Is it mobile friendly?
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Levitating laser squid are better than drones for targeting traitors and other criminals.
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