Friendly reminder that if you were able to exist without having to know about something like Incels before today that was a privilege you have. Considering their rabid hatred and misogyny I have not been able to avoid knowing, I found out when I was threatened by one...
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What all of that insulation and defensiveness fails to do, despite it being true, is address that one dangerous man hurts many. That 10000 “safe” men getting stroked for not being shitlords doesn’t make me any safer from that one man, who hurts many.
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The fact that so many of these “good ones” are more concerned with self actualization as good ones, and some social thirst trap bullshit where they need to be credited first for not being a rapist or a misogynist before they will co-sign my fear and anger re: the violent ones.
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The problem with needing to be validated before you will listen to me say “it’s fucking mad max out here, I’m running to my car with my keys in my fist. I am not parking beside a van ever.” Is that energy is spent luring “good men” into caring about me instead of the threat.
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And once we have seduced the “good man” with praise and acknowledgement his work is done. He has been validated and therefore has no further to go on the curve of helping. Because he is already helping by not being a monster, (and thanked for that because he could choose to be!)
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And that’s why we are exhausted. Because we can’t get men to do the work unless we tell them they already do it. And once we do that they cease to work. So we don’t give them the


and they get frustrated like we don’t see them and they bail on the whole feminist thingShow this thread -
And the common denominator is ego. If you’re good, trust that I will notice that. If you are out there confronting this shit and these men, show me and I promise I will notice. If you love me, and other women, listen to our anger and our fear without taking it personally. Please.
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End of conversation
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