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I was one of lucky and privileged ones. My parents are liberal and open minded. They came around and resisted pressures. Ultimately they fought community they live in and tried to change people's minds. Now they are proud of me and support me wholeheartedly.
so much has changed for the better in a decade. Numerous inter-racial and inter-caste marriages in my extended family. One of my cousins is queer and out and people have accepted that. Change can also happen quickly. We have to remain hopeful.
Craziest thing around #IndianMatchmaking is how much I dreaded it even as a kid. I had a dream when I was just 7 about being forcibly married off to someone I didn't like! This is much before anyone had brought up issue of marriage with me. So much sexism was inbuilt in system.
Thank you for sharing this! I feel very motivated by how hard you fought for the life that you have and and to be the most authentic version of yourself. I’ve had similar struggles with parents as well. It’s cool to know I am not alone!!
Exactly what I wanted to say @Hypat1aYu !
thanks for sharing. I watched that show thinking its a norm, but reality is very hard hitting.
Took courage to write about that kind of pain. I applaud your sense of hope. I have seen similar transformation in my family as well. I share your disinclination to watch the show. Best wishes.
Thank you for ending the thread on a hopeful note. The cracks in the edifice of patriarchy are finally starting to widen, and it's good to be reminded of that. I'm glad you survived the system.
Amazing to see you bloom over the years, even from afar. Wiser, fiercer, more confident. As a Chinese woman of open minded parents, I got maybe 1% of what you had to put up with. What’s similar is us who finally became “too old” to prey on often end up finding peace and autonomy.
Thanks for sharing this openly. I hope Indian female grad students who are going through this can show your tweetstorm to their parents and show how successful they could be if left alone. I have some really talented friends who had to leave academia coz of this patriarchal bs.
Sounds familiar. I was (and still am) asked to quit pursuing my PhD because it is more important to work on raising a family than on a degree or finding a job. They don’t ever say that to the male cousins.
Some of my female friends are going through a similar patch of life. Maybe they would read this and know that what you can be if you don't succumb to the pressure. :)
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