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Those who answered ad advised my parents to let me go because I was too old, too qualified. They said they cannot have a daugther-in-law who is too educated and westernized (even though their sons went to similar universities). My mom realized that this system is not right for me
Recently I attended weddings of my brother and cousin in India. People kept enquiring about my happiness and lamented that I am not married. Someone who didn't know me tried to set me up but when my parents revealed my actual age, he tried to slither away. Growing old is great!
I was one of lucky and privileged ones. My parents are liberal and open minded. They came around and resisted pressures. Ultimately they fought community they live in and tried to change people's minds. Now they are proud of me and support me wholeheartedly.
so much has changed for the better in a decade. Numerous inter-racial and inter-caste marriages in my extended family. One of my cousins is queer and out and people have accepted that. Change can also happen quickly. We have to remain hopeful.
Craziest thing around #IndianMatchmaking is how much I dreaded it even as a kid. I had a dream when I was just 7 about being forcibly married off to someone I didn't like! This is much before anyone had brought up issue of marriage with me. So much sexism was inbuilt in system.
Have them read the classic "Love In The Time Of Cholera".
Its so good of you to share your experiences. More power to you :)
The common notion of getting the daughter married at the “right age” else they won’t find anyone later has eaten up the future of enumerable girls. I decided to leave my well paying job when I was 29 and go to EU for masters was a shock to everyone. And now everyone thinks 1/n
2/n that I’ll never get married n me being a lost cause everyone has started focusing on my younger sister’s marriage before she it’s too late! The mental disturbance a family has to go through is unexplainable. It destroys the precious bond btw parents n daughters.
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