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Prikvačeni tweet
FRIENDLY REMINDER: Frankenberry is not the cereal. He's the guy who CREATED the cereal. The cereal is his monster.
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and he joked again proslijedio/la je Tweet
doctor: your vasectomy was a success patient: where are my balls dog: [rips off doctor mask] wHeRe aRe mY bAlLs fuck u greg how does it feel
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and he joked again proslijedio/la je Tweet
god: did you give the dinosaurs more muscle like I asked angel: wait what god: I told you to make them meatier angel: oh MEATier
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and he joked again proslijedio/la je Tweet
thinking about my favorite stock photo series, in which a clown breaks into an office to threaten people with a gun but eventually makes up with them and becomes an integral part of the teampic.twitter.com/frxokL9DE1
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and he joked again proslijedio/la je Tweet
First I had to cut back on alcohol for mental well being, then sugar, and now caffeine. What’s next? Cocaine?
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and he joked again proslijedio/la je Tweet
2y.o eating his lunch: “Papa’s coffee hot?” Me: “Yeah baby it’s hot, don’t touch.” 2y.o: “Me blow on it for Papa?” It was at this point I witnessed with horror, my 2y.o attempt to blow on my freshly made coffee, only to spit a half eaten chicken nugget straight into it..
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or maybe i was shamelessly ripping off this guy oh man my jokes are so derivativehttps://twitter.com/CAshmanActor/status/1223621303757832193?s=20 …
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Movies 𝗟𝗶𝗻-𝗠𝗮𝗻𝘂𝗲𝗹 𝗠𝗶𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗮 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗿𝗺𝘀 𝗛𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘁𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗶𝗴 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗻𝘀pic.twitter.com/TuvI77pe5d
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and he joked again proslijedio/la je Tweet
It's awesome how my body can take pizza and wings and turn it into more of my body
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and he joked again proslijedio/la je Tweet
If I'm still single by Feb. 14th I'm sending nudes to everyone. Fuck it
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another blatant rip-off of the inspirational
@IndecisiveJoneshttps://twitter.com/IndecisiveJones/status/1222990740441247744?s=20 …Prikaži ovu nitHvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
me: it's just that i felt she'd be happier with me. i wanted to release her from her cage, so to speak medical researcher: put down that armadillo and get out of my lab
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and he joked again proslijedio/la je Tweet
why are these apple news illustrations of the candidates so haunting. why do they all look like they’re going to murder me in my sleeppic.twitter.com/ZmUIv3Q1T1
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and he joked again proslijedio/la je Tweet
“You catch the game?” asks the cashier. “Like herpes!” I say. She does not laugh. “Jesus Christ,” the man behind me mutters. My card is declined.
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and he joked again proslijedio/la je Tweet
[frog-condom sales meeting] frog 1: our numbers are down, how can we make the condom more enjoyable for our customers? frog 2: rib it frog 1: Andrew, you're a goddamn genius
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and he joked again proslijedio/la je Tweet
When you're an inflight safety pamphlet designer who definitely knows what babies look likepic.twitter.com/4c2O9KkABI
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they like me! they really like me!https://twitter.com/thefunnytweeter/status/1224165622919155713 …
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi
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(after a rolling blackout in l.a.) jennifer lopez: don't be fooled by the clocks that i got
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and he joked again proslijedio/la je Tweet
boob happy palindrome day
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and he joked again proslijedio/la je Tweet
It’s Groundhog Day, the day when I ceremoniously expose my vagina to my boyfriend for the first time since the first day of winter and if he recoils I will have no sex for another 8 weeks
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