and he joked again

@AndyJokedAgain

i play big butt bill on "inside big butts" my best tweets: my current contenders: and follow for all tweet calls

Screamersville, VA
Vrijeme pridruživanja: listopad 2017.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet

    FRIENDLY REMINDER: Frankenberry is not the cereal. He's the guy who CREATED the cereal. The cereal is his monster.

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. sij

    doctor: your vasectomy was a success patient: where are my balls dog: [rips off doctor mask] wHeRe aRe mY bAlLs fuck u greg how does it feel

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    30. sij

    god: did you give the dinosaurs more muscle like I asked angel: wait what god: I told you to make them meatier angel: oh MEATier

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    thinking about my favorite stock photo series, in which a clown breaks into an office to threaten people with a gun but eventually makes up with them and becomes an integral part of the team

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    1. velj

    First I had to cut back on alcohol for mental well being, then sugar, and now caffeine. What’s next? Cocaine?

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    28. sij

    2y.o eating his lunch: “Papa’s coffee hot?” Me: “Yeah baby it’s hot, don’t touch.” 2y.o: “Me blow on it for Papa?” It was at this point I witnessed with horror, my 2y.o attempt to blow on my freshly made coffee, only to spit a half eaten chicken nugget straight into it..

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  7. or maybe i was shamelessly ripping off this guy oh man my jokes are so derivative

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  8. Movies 𝗟𝗶𝗻-𝗠𝗮𝗻𝘂𝗲𝗹 𝗠𝗶𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗮 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗿𝗺𝘀 𝗛𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘁𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗶𝗴 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗻𝘀

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    It's awesome how my body can take pizza and wings and turn it into more of my body

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    If I'm still single by Feb. 14th I'm sending nudes to everyone. Fuck it

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  12. me: it's just that i felt she'd be happier with me. i wanted to release her from her cage, so to speak medical researcher: put down that armadillo and get out of my lab

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 7 sati

    why are these apple news illustrations of the candidates so haunting. why do they all look like they’re going to murder me in my sleep

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 6 sati

    “You catch the game?” asks the cashier. “Like herpes!” I say. She does not laugh. “Jesus Christ,” the man behind me mutters. My card is declined.

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    31. sij

    [frog-condom sales meeting] frog 1: our numbers are down, how can we make the condom more enjoyable for our customers? frog 2: rib it frog 1: Andrew, you're a goddamn genius

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    31. sij

    When you're an inflight safety pamphlet designer who definitely knows what babies look like

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  17. Poništi
  18. 2. velj
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  19. 2. velj

    (after a rolling blackout in l.a.) jennifer lopez: don't be fooled by the clocks that i got

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    boob happy palindrome day

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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    It’s Groundhog Day, the day when I ceremoniously expose my vagina to my boyfriend for the first time since the first day of winter and if he recoils I will have no sex for another 8 weeks

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