LOL, ok, so my parents were at my college apartment and Mom wanted some ice from the freezer. She opens it up and pulls out a baggie of green stuff. "...what is this?" she asks in a strangled voice.
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I'm this oblivious NERD, so I start animatedly talking about how I learned that if you store your catnip in the FREEZER it stays FRESH LONGER and you can use it to refresh the cat toys so they'll play with them again.
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Mom and Dad are just *staring* at me and then put the baggie back without saying anything. It took a full 20 minutes for me to even notice her tone had been weird, at which point I was like "...wait, what did SHE think it was???" Because I was a very sheltered good boy.
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*pulls up chair*
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My mom found little pills with A's on them in my brother's car and was furious at him. "What are these? Adderall? ECSTASY?" They were Altoids.
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Well, would you look at the time; it's Someday
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TFW you're that one kid who has oregano that actually is oregano.
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I moved into an apartment that was belonged to a Hungarian/Italian couple. They left their spice rack when they moved back to Europe. My kitchen had a suspiciously large amount of oregano.
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One time in college my buddy and I had to ask my mom to check his car & tell us if the interior smelled like weed. (It did not, but the cop who’d pulled us over had insisted it reeked of pot.) (That was a long night!)
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Twitter busker. Trans boy in love with another trans boy, both doing our best.
Pronouns: He/Him or Xie/Xer. (Pronounced: zee/zur.)