Allison Gauss

@AllisonGauss

Writing, music, comedy. Relapsing pessimist. Bylines include HuffPost, GEN, Human Parts, The Blueprint, The Improv Blog, OnlineSOS, Classy.

San Diego, CA
medium.com/@AllisonGauss
Joined December 2013
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  1. Mar 11

    “What are we even GOING FOR??” - me, every time I try to dress myself

    4 likes
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  2. Retweeted
    Mar 9

    #

    76 replies . 20 retweets 1,247 likes
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  3. Mar 1

    My cat is great.

    3 likes
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  4. Mar 1

    Wow! How incredibly thoughtful of this student loan lender to tell me why I should pay them when I don’t have to!

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  5. Feb 26

    This guy will probably eventually be a multi-millionaire (if he isn’t already from family money) by offering nothing to the world.

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  6. Feb 26

    “He likes having a junior kid, so he’ll keep me close by.”

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  7. Feb 26

    Things he’s going to be doing: “Researchin, like, stuff” “Diligencing deals” “When the companies are like ‘yo, we need to figure this out...’”

    1 like
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  8. Feb 26

    “They’re like ‘We need a young guy who understands these new businesses’” “So what are you gonna be... like... doing?”

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  9. Feb 26

    “The fact that I was name dropping...” “these guys flew me out... “these guys know how the game goes”

    4 replies .
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  10. Feb 26

    I can hear the dudebro next door telling his fellow dude how easy it is to sell ideas to investors. Same guy who cleaned up his back patio by sweeping dirt under the fence so it’s on our side.

    2 replies . 1 like
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  11. Retweeted
    Feb 22

    You really are a person

    A closeup of a peeled banana being held in front of a light grey background
    2 replies . 41 retweets 147 likes
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  12. Feb 18

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  13. Retweeted
    Feb 7

    Become ungovernable: scream

    3 replies . 109 retweets 1,914 likes
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  14. Feb 1

    Just came across the term “non-belligerent nations” in some research. That’s all I want.

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  15. Jan 28

    We had a squirt bottle of oil(?) that we squirted on the skillet before leaving the kitchen. The process of actually cooking your fajitas was way less dramatic.

    can’t stand when my fajitas come out sizzling too loud. like damn bitch shut up i don’t need the whole restaurant looking over here.
    1 reply .
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  16. Jan 26

    I hope everyone else is saying the way that a college football player on espn says “THE Ohio State University”

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  17. Jan 26

    Funny how that tends to happen when both people are white and rich.

    Shailene Woodley and Aaron Rodgers 'agree to disagree' about politics: report
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  18. Jan 24

    THIS IS thestoryofagirl

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  19. Retweeted
    Jan 22

    writing is fun because it’s difficult at first but if you put in the time & work really hard it’s still just as difficult

    14 replies . 1,579 retweets 5,974 likes
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  20. Jan 20

    JUST FUND THE ARTS

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    3 likes
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