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Alex_Lily's profile
Alexandra Schwartz
Alexandra Schwartz
Alexandra Schwartz
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@Alex_Lily

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Alexandra SchwartzVerified account

@Alex_Lily

Staff writer at the @newyorker. Divides her time between bed and the couch.

New York
newyorker.com/contributors/a…
Joined September 2009

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    Alexandra Schwartz‏Verified account @Alex_Lily Feb 25

    Before you adopt a dog you might want to consider whether it is the kind of dog who might DIVE ON THE BIGGEST RAT YOU'VE EVER SEEN AND REFUSE TO DROP IT FOR FIVE MINUTES WHILE YOU SCREAM ON PROSPECT PARK WESTpic.twitter.com/2IT4mlfxVy

    6:40 AM - 25 Feb 2021
    • 6,485 Retweets
    • 112,167 Likes
    • Martin Kenner Desiree Delaney Lori Tack Alex drizzledeedee Terri #Trying2DoGood 😷The (Esteemed) Hapless Beignet💉💉 Kimber🌭 Sharon Lovey Darhling
    3,931 replies 6,485 retweets 112,167 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Alexandra Schwartz‏Verified account @Alex_Lily Feb 25

        I had time to take the photo because he was not going anywhere without this enormous dead rat. Speaking of teeth, you can see the rat's teeth, bared in death agonies (presumably from poison, not from Hank)

        57 replies 55 retweets 4,705 likes
        Show this thread
      3. Alexandra Schwartz‏Verified account @Alex_Lily Feb 25

        People walked by. People laughed. Human nature is not kind.

        20 replies 53 retweets 4,617 likes
        Show this thread
      4. Alexandra Schwartz‏Verified account @Alex_Lily Feb 25

        An elderly woman with a face shield and two tiny dogs offered me the blue New York Times plastic bag she had brought to pick up her dog's poop so that I could try to pry out the rat. But the rat could not be pried.

        15 replies 40 retweets 3,826 likes
        Show this thread
      5. Alexandra Schwartz‏Verified account @Alex_Lily Feb 25

        Finally, an angel arrived in the form of a construction worker. He said: Leave the dog alone. He'll drop the rat. I said: HE'S NOT LETTING GO OF THIS RAT.

        8 replies 49 retweets 4,036 likes
        Show this thread
      6. Alexandra Schwartz‏Verified account @Alex_Lily Feb 25

        The guy said: Try it. I tried it. I stopped screaming and pulling and prying. Hank READJUSTED HIS GRIP ON THE RAT. The guy said: Try it again. Hank DROPPED THE RAT TO GET A BETTER GRIP at which point I yanked the dog away.

        36 replies 56 retweets 6,498 likes
        Show this thread
      7. Alexandra Schwartz‏Verified account @Alex_Lily Feb 25

        So how's your morning going?

        37 replies 23 retweets 3,302 likes
        Show this thread
      8. Alexandra Schwartz‏Verified account @Alex_Lily Feb 25

        Readers of this thread might like to know that Hank has a long history with rodents. We first became aware of it last year, when he slurped down a (much smaller) rat in Prospect Park.

        50 replies 30 retweets 4,063 likes
        Show this thread
      9. Alexandra Schwartz‏Verified account @Alex_Lily Feb 25

        We've been spending some time in the country. Recently, when we walk up the road, he's been sticking his snout into a patch of snow and digging like crazy. Finally, after about a week of this, he got his prize: a frozen mouse. It had been buried DEEP

        25 replies 30 retweets 3,321 likes
        Show this thread
      10. Alexandra Schwartz‏Verified account @Alex_Lily Feb 25

        Now we know how he survived for the mysterious first three years of his life.

        52 replies 40 retweets 4,748 likes
        Show this thread
      11. Alexandra Schwartz‏Verified account @Alex_Lily Feb 25

        cc @Bideawee thought you might like to see what one of your alums is up to (he could not be more loved)

        20 replies 11 retweets 1,685 likes
        Show this thread
      12. Alexandra Schwartz‏Verified account @Alex_Lily Feb 25

        Greetings, good afternoon: Hank just caught a SECOND RAT.

        49 replies 42 retweets 4,198 likes
        Show this thread
      13. Alexandra Schwartz‏Verified account @Alex_Lily Feb 25

        This one was on Washington Ave and Lincoln Place. Also huge. Also very dead. I shouted DROP IT and he let it go, probably from surprise. (He considers "drop it" to be more of a suggestion.)

        30 replies 19 retweets 2,739 likes
        Show this thread
      14. Alexandra Schwartz‏Verified account @Alex_Lily Feb 25

        Today is the first warm day in NYC in weeks. The mounds of snow are melting. The dead rats are thawing. My dog is on the hunt and none of us are safe.

        25 replies 73 retweets 3,799 likes
        Show this thread
      15. Alexandra Schwartz‏Verified account @Alex_Lily Feb 25

        Excuse me, it's after 3:55 pm so Hank is demanding his dinner (kibble, no rat). A lot of grunting and paw-stamping. Does going viral mean nothing to him?

        70 replies 21 retweets 2,607 likes
        Show this thread
      16. Alexandra Schwartz‏Verified account @Alex_Lily Feb 25

        Unimpressed by fame.pic.twitter.com/lHBBEQwzjF

        182 replies 75 retweets 6,776 likes
        Show this thread
      17. End of conversation

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