The Legendary Dragon Alephwyr, named Alephwyr, BA

for real though, i'd make an amazing youth pastor. i'd be all like, "look, you can do whatever you want. *whatever* you do serves God. it's just that, being a decent dude, He left you some instructions on how to serve Him in ways that are going to hurt less in the medium term"

"i mean, long term, the hyperorganisms that you're the currently conscious nodes of will still suffer every excruciation possible, but He wanted to make sure you at least had the option to keep things as nice as possible for as long as possible. it's totally up to you though."

"just, y'know, don't think you're getting away with anything by being all like, ooh, i'm gonna be edgy and serve Satan. all you're doing is serving the face of God that doesn't give a fuck how much you suffer how soon in the course of fulfilling the universe's purpose"