I don't see the problem as gender normativity in the abstract but as specific gender norms being misapplied. There are hypothetical forms of gender normativity that don't hurt people like me, maybe not anyone
You can gerrymander arbitrarily. As many genders as you like. As complicated a set of rules and exceptions as you like
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It helps the coherence of speech and thought to be able to reason abstractly, in categories
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