Being really shitty is not the same thing as being abusive. They're not synonyms. It's not a catchall term. Sometimes a person can fuck you over real bad, to the point where you should swear lifelong enmity and call them out on it to everyone, without them qualifying as abusive.
What if they're abusive but it's partly because of being deeply and irreparably traumatized themselves as a kid and partly because of the psychological disorders for which they were abused in the first place that never went away
