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@averykimball is right, the easiest way to get hired is to build some projects and post them publicly on github as you go. We are trying to tell you for free what Lambda will charge you $35k to tell you. 
I know it's a good idea but I'm so far behind, and mental health issues make it hard to do anything but tread water tbh.
definitely get help with mental health. if you can, it makes everything possible, and then easier.
after that, you should consider declaring "expectations bankruptcy", so that you are not behind anymore.
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