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  1. Retweeted
    Mar 23

    Found $20 in a parking lot and thought to myself What Would Jesus Do? So I took it and turned it into wine.

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  2. Retweeted
    Mar 31

    Among the first steps were repeated verbal attacks on the “lying press” and then laws requiring newspapers to register with the government. And yes it can happen here. That’s our decision. Nazi Germany and the fall of law via

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  3. 5 hours ago

    Can we all just pick a day to flip off that whack job in solidarity with this woman? Or do I just have to walk around all day, every day, with my middle fingers in the air? Suing for my right to flip off the president

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  4. Apr 5

    That's right, Nazis welcome in Tennessee. All Nazis should go there. Then I would be all for securing THOSE borders! Resolution denouncing neo-Nazis dies in Tennessee legislature for second time

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  5. Retweeted
    Apr 5

    I'm kinda like the modern day Weird Al.

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  6. Retweeted
    Apr 4

    For the record, Barack Obama is quite a bit more than just a charismatic leader. And the past decade saw genuine progress, particularly on healthcare and LGBT rights. The fierce backlash against the Obama era doesn't negate it. And MLK died to make that progress possible.

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  7. Retweeted
    Apr 4

    Sometimes, if I drive just enough far away, I can’t hear my kids arguing inside the house.

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  8. Retweeted
    Apr 4

    You left an NFL game early because players knelt during the national anthem.

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  9. Retweeted
    Mar 30

    Only cold-blooded, sociopathic monsters bring light beer to a party.

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  10. Retweeted
    Apr 3

    if religious people are happy with god’s design then they should keep the fuck away from messing with their babies’ genitalia

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  11. Apr 2

    I don't mind folding laundry for myself and the kids, but for some reason when I get to my wife's confusing ass clothes I'm all like

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  12. Retweeted
    Apr 2

    Ocean's Eleven reboot, but instead it's eleven cargo short wearing beer nerds attempting to steal the entire allotment of Bourbon County Stout.

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  13. Retweeted
    Apr 2

    The President of the United States is trying to tank Amazon, in order to punish its CEO for negative media coverage in the newspaper he also owns. And I'm supposed to think David Hogg spearheading an advertising boycott of Laura Ingraham is an urgent threat to freedom of speech?

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  14. Retweeted
    Mar 18

    No, we aren’t performing an exorcism; I just told him no.

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  15. Apr 2

    I'm not, like, super spiritual, but I'm pretty sure Gozer the Gozerian is my 4 year old's spirit animal.

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  16. Apr 2

    File this under the "No shit, Sherlock" category: Legal marijuana could help offset opioid epidemic

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  17. Retweeted
    Apr 1

    Got tons of responses to this. Thank you. We all go thru the sludge/shit and depression never discriminates. Took me a long time to realize it but the key is to not be afraid to open up. Especially us dudes have a tendency to keep it in. You’re not alone

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  18. Apr 1
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  19. Retweeted
    Apr 1
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  20. Retweeted
    Mar 31

    This is more dangerous than Fox IMO. Many people trust their local news and see them as family, especially seniors. Call your reps (202) 224-3121 tell them how you feel about Sinclair Broadcasting spreading Russian propaganda. If you leave a message, leave your zip code

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